The Scarlet Mouse

Hi, I'm back!

2005-12-04T17:19:00.000-05:00

I thought I'd wrench the canine off the keyboard, and start up this blog again. Today, 6 months, I will be married!!! EEK! Boy, it sure is getting nearer!

Today we had our first snow -- I dig the white stuff initially, but it gets old fast, especially when a 20 pound dog is dragging you along the slippery street and you're hanging on for dear life.

Since last writing, life has been up and down as it is wont to be, but things are mostly up nowadays. The Mouse Spouse is happily employed again. Axel is a delight. And life is pretty good. What else can one hope for?

I just designed and wrote a new website for a kid's entertainment company - it was a lot of fun and some nice extra cash (just kidding INS...). I hope I get more freelance web gigs soon! You can see the site at www.birthdaybuddiesinc.com!

Later,
SM

My Blog for a Dog (with apologies to Shakespeare)

2005-08-24T22:40:00.000-04:00

You may be wondering, or maybe not, why I have been so remiss in my blogging activities. The truth is, my computer has been hijacked by a 7 pound wire-fox terrier pup named Axel, who has commandeered my computer in order to launch his OWN blog which he updates many times a day, every day. I can't get near my computer. If I try, he growls at me and I am forced to back away.

So dear readers, what can I say? The Scarlet Mouse has been usurped by the Wiry Canine. I will still blog, but it will be sporadic for the next while. I will probably devise a way to rid myself of the canine threat as it gets nearer to the wedding...at which time I hope to blog more!

SM

Vehicular Vexation

2005-08-11T10:23:00.000-04:00

So two weeks ago, some idiot smashed into the Mouse Spouse's brand new SUV as it was parked meters from our home. The same idiot also smashed into two other parked cars. Of course, he didn't stop to leave his details on the windshields, god forbid he should show an ounce of decency. The entire right side of the SUV was smashed up, and two weeks later, we out of pocket $500 on the deductible and $200 on car rental supplementation as the Mouse Spouse needed a rental truck to be able to continue working!

Then yesterday, deciding to buy a lottery ticket, I was pulled up near the store waiting for someone to pull out of a metered spot, when the car in front of me who was pulling out, reversed back into my little Toyota. The driver was in a big Nissan Pathfinder, high off the ground, and failed to see my lowly Toyota. And so, within a matter of seconds, my bumper and hood were bent and dented out of shape. At least this driver was extremely decent, gave me his info etc, and hopefully this will not result in huge hassles...but let's face it, hassle is what I'm in for just to get it fixed, get a rental etc...

I know all this could have been worse, we could have been in a real car accident, gotten hurt etc, so we do count our blessings, but what a damn pain in the neck, especially for the Mouse Spouse who lost a lot of money through NO fault of his own. That $700 should have gone towards a weekend away in celebration of his upcoming (tomorrow) 40th birthday!

Get on the bus Gus. May not be a bad idea.

SM

Climbing the Walls

2005-08-07T17:33:00.000-04:00

I have to vent.

At last count, I had 28 frigging mosquito bites on my body. Given that my body is not very big, that's a shitload of red welts that are driving me nuts because they are so itchy!! I slept fitfully last night as a result, and I am sick to death of this incessant itch! I trekked to Eckards in search of a panacea, and bought some anti-itch ointment. I slathered the stuff all over me, and it was completely useless. I tried a hot shower. I tried some lidocaine left over from our sunburnt trip to Costa Rica. Nothing fucking helps!!! I am going nuts!

If I was in SA, this would not be happening, because over there they have these marvelous inventions nicknamed "the stinker" by my father. They are pads that slot into a little device that you plug in each night. The pads give off a scent noxious only to mosquitos and they stay away. I have never been devoured in this way before! Alas, these are not available in the grand ol' USA!

My guess is the mozzies have been feasting on my sweet flesh every time I go out with Axel to beseech him to pee/poop. I sit there, sometimes for as long as 10-15 minutes, wishing the pup would crouch and do his ablutions. Now I realize, while I was patiently waiting, the mosquitos were enjoying a healthy repast! To save my flesh (I can't take this much longer), I have left long sleeved attire by the door to our yard, and I plan to cover up next time I venture out. I have also sprayed copious amounts of vile-smelling anti-mosquito liquid all over myself. The liquid seems to have the same effect on the Mouse Spouse. He is staying away from me too.

SM

Guilty of Fratricide

2005-07-18T22:43:00.000-04:00

I really had no choice.

Last night, I was getting something to drink out the fridge, when I heard a package of choc croissants fall over on the counter. That is weird thought I, and looked around, and to my shock and awe, saw a tiny mouse scurrying amongst the croissants! My first thought was to think, "Jesus, good taste sister - those Trader Joes croissants rock!" My second thought was, shit, vermin in the house! My instincts kicked in, I grabbed the top of the package, and squeezed it shut, trapping the mouse inside. (I have never been afriad of mice or bugs - unlike my Mouse Spouse who always hollers for me to dispose of the latter.)

I then took the pack with mouse inside, outside, reached for a small garden spade, and basically bludgeoned the mouse to death, spattering the croissants in blood. Not a proud moment for the Scarlet Mouse - but one alas, I felt I had to do.

Of course, had said mouse been scurrying on the floor, there is a good chance that our new wire-haired fox terrier would have caught and killed it - the breed is best known for hunting vermin. Axel came into our lives on Saturday, the day before my b-day, and what a little furball of joy he is. A peeing/pooping loveable canine, but a beautiful and spunky character. Motherhood, for what else would you like me to call it, is most rewarding but rather exhausting. I have new admiration for mothers of human offspring. I do not enjoy getting up and 3am and 6am to implore Axel to pee - but I guess it's better than having to breast feed and change nappies!

And Axel will never answer back, never require carpools to school or extra mural activities. And most importantly, Axel will be on call should any of my sisters or brothers cross his path!

SM

Surviving July 4th in Philadelphia

2005-07-05T09:44:00.000-04:00

I have a confession. I am exhausted. Or as we say in SA, super moeg! Whoa, what a weekend!

It was wonderful to see my good old friend Tortoise and meet her Tortoise Spouse. On Saturday, the four of us trekked off to Live 8. I’ve never seen so many people on the Parkway – maybe there were a million folks out there. It was hopeless trying to get anywhere near to the stage or a jumbotron screen, so we just plonked ourselves down under a tree away from the direct action, and listened to the music. It was bloody hot, the music was nothing special – I hadn’t even heard of some of the acts, and frankly, I was quite bored with the whole thing.

The Mouse Spouse on the other hand kept busy by making his own Michael Moorish documentary trying to expose the rampant hypocrisy and capitalistic horrors evident in the Live 8 gathering. Indeed, the only people who benefited by Live 8 were the many vendors out plowing their crap on the Parkway. Bottles of water were going for $3 (in a store you can get 12 bottles for less than that), and that really got the Mouse Spouse’s goat! Not one cent of vendor sales went to Africa. Nada. Yes, awareness is all very lovely – but does it really help starving people in Africa? Me thinks NOT. But nice sentiments Bob. By the way Bob, how about telling us what good the last Live Aid did. I sure would like to see what was done with the money. Yes, you paraded a lovely black woman on the stage in London who was reportedly saved by Live Aid – but I’d like to see a tad more please.

What really pissed me off, was the report that each performer at Live 8 received $15,000 worth of thank you gifts. Yeah right, these performers really need another Boss suit or Rolex watch. Give that fucking money to Africa, god damn it!

Yesterday was of course July 4th, and once again, there was a huge concert on the Parkway. This time Elton John, Bryan Adams and Patti LaBelle. My Brit/Israeli friend Lisa was over, and once again, we trekked back to the concert area in a vain attempt to see this concert. We found a pretty good spot as we got there fairly early, but sure enough, as the hour of the concert approached, our closely guarded territory was invaded by marauding hordes.

Indeed, somewhat of a territorial war broke out around us. There was a family who screamed at anyone who set foot on their sheet or tried to cross over their territory. They got real nasty at times. It became quite an amusing spectacle to see the hapless hordes attempt to traverse their territory, only to be verbally and sometime physically attacked. At some point during the concert, some drunk guys tried to invade, there was some shoving, and one of them almost fell on top of me. At this point, my gallant Mouse Spouse went beserk trying to protect me. The police were summoned, and the drunken youths removed.

I’m not big on being in the thick of crowds, especially when I feel the urge to pee. The urge hit me prior to Elton’s entrance, and it was terrifying trying to move through the crowds in the direction of the precious porta-potties. Once I got there, the stench was rather strong, so I struck up a conversation with the young woman in front of me, and we formed a sisterly pact. Over the barrier we went, in search of some foliage. While she peed, I made sure noone entered the area, and she did likewise for me. So there I was, balanced on a sharp incline trying to pee, and would you guess it, the feeling left me. Above me, people were yelling at me to hurry up so they could empty their bladders in the wild…

The concert itself was pretty cool even if I am not a die hard Elton fan. He played about five songs including a LONG version of Rocket Man that went on and one until I was ready to charge through the crowds and hit him in the goolies. He ended with Philadelphia Freedom, and then there was an awesome fireworks display (that also went on a bit much!)

Suffice to say, it was an interesting day, but I was rather happy to get home and climb into bed. It sure is wonderful to live near enough to these venues to be able to walk. Today it’s back to work, sigh, when all I can really think about is curling up in bed and sleeping for a very long time….

SM

Happy Anniversary to me (almost)

2005-06-30T16:40:00.000-04:00

I was just thinking - come July 2nd - it will be my 4 year anniversary in the USA. Unbelievable. To think I've been here almost as long as I was in Israel (6 years). It surely doesn't feel like I've been in Phila for almost 3 years, although it does feel like my year in Florida and that ex-relationship there was eons ago. Then again I'll be 36 in a few weeks - God, where does the time go? Wonder if I'll turn around suddenly and my wedding will be upon me - that still feels like years away!

I am really looking forward to this long weekend. Not because of the craziness of Live 8 and July 4th festivities - but becos of my dear friends who are descending upon us from NYC. I so seldom get to see good, old friends with whom I have a shared history, so this will be a real treat.

Tortoise is one of my favorite people in the world, and I can't wait to meet the Tortoise Spouse! Lucky guy! Last night I went on a grocery shopping frenzy! Shlepped to Acme on City Ave as I needed to buy Kosher food for my other pal who is coming on Sunday/Monday. Over $100 later, my cart was overflowing and the man behind me in the line looked most sympathetic as I tried to load my cart with five 12-packs of soda (they were on special!) I guess I still look pretty tiny and fragile, people often look at me in these situations as if to say, how does she manage poor thing! I assured man-in-line that I could manage, but he still insisted on lifting them into the cart for me. I almost thought he'd follow me to my car and offer to load up the trunk. Alas, not.

The Mouse Spouse was still working when I got home, so I lugged most of the groceries into the house myself but left the fridgepacks and non-perishables in my trunk for him to shlep. Alas, he only came home after I was asleep, so I drove to work with the goods still in my trunk. Trunk! What a bloody stupid American word! Everytime I write it, I picture an elephant's appendage attached to my car. A boot isn't much better...but it still feels more normal to me.

Speaking of American speak, I am immersed in a classic work of American fiction - The Grapes of Wrath by Steinbeck. I got it out the library because I couldn't find anything else - it being summer when books tend to me scarce. Hence I retreated to the classics shelves, always full. I have to say, once I got into the dialect etc, I begun to be enthralled by this book. It is so sad, so moving -- I think I am going to go on a classics binge, focusing on American fiction as in SA we tended to focus on European writing.

Anyway, to more contemporary issues. Do you think 400 porta-potties will be enough for a million folk attending Live 8? I can't say I've ever used a porta-potty and would prefer not to start now. I estimate that there will be a lot of constipated Philadelphians come Sunday. Live 8 begins at noon on Saturday, literally 5 minutes from our house. I'm sort of excited, in a psychotic, masochistic type of way...the event may be insufferable with the heat and crowds, not to mention the inherent risk for yours truly in being trampled to death...oh well, at least I'd die for a good cause - saving Africans from hunger.

SM

Live 8, Dead at 9?

2005-06-21T16:08:00.000-04:00

You may have heard that one of the global Live 8 concerts is to be held in Philadelphia, PA, to be more specific, about 50 meters from the Mouse House. The Mouse Spouse has been the veritable voice of doom ever since this concert plan was announced – he is as sure as the liberty bell is cracked, that this concert is going to be a total fiasco. He also, quite justifiably, does not comprehend WHY these concerts are still being held since the filthy rich G8 countries wrote off the debt of the third world a few weeks ago. He has a point.

The concert on July 2nd will effectively paralyze the city for 4 days, as on July 4th is the usual patriotic stuff (I was going to say shit, but do not want to risk being shot) – parades, music and oh yeah, a free Elton John concert on the same spot as Live 8. The various media outlets have predicted 1-4 million people descending on the Parkway/Art Museum area for the weekend. We are having our own little deluge at the Mouse Spouse with my dear old friend Tortoise and her boyfriend Tortoise Spouse coming from New York, and my Israeli friend Miss Gold (recently engaged!) heading to Philadelphia as a spot on her vacation itinerary across the USA. And then there is Whiskey Boy, a friend of the Mouse Spouse, from Allentown that is also threatening to come. Our house will probably be a microcosm of the madness on the Parkway. To start with, we will have one toilet to six of us (maybe we will have to make use of the 500 porta-potties feted to appear on the Parkway nearby). It might also be a bit squashy – our house is on the small side – where everyone will sleep is still a mystery to be worked out. Indeed, I realized to my horror that I only have one inflatable single mattress – hardly comfy accommodation for four! We do have a couch, but it’s hardly long enough to accommodate my friends – so perhaps I will have to take the couch, and the Mouse Spouse can pick a new partner to share his bed!

Despite the Mouse Spouse’s anti-concert rantings, he does acknowledge that there is good capitalistic opportunities to be milked by having millions of thirsty people on our doorstep. We are considering selling cold bottles of water on the day for $1 a pop. Being a stickler for laws and licenses, I contacted the Philadelphia municipality via email to enquire if it was legal to sell stuff at the concert. I was informed that I “should” get a license but that “off the record, go for it!”. Fancy that, a rebel at the municipality! Anyway, ultimately this is the Mouse Spouse’s idea, so if he wants to shlep water in trashcans filled with ice around the Parkway – well, good luck dear!

Glorious Sunday!

2005-06-05T20:10:00.000-04:00

What a wonderful day we had today. It was lovely and hot out, and much to see and do on our very doorstep!

The Mouse Spouse and I set out mid-morning to see the Wachovia bike race. It was quite a yawn actually, but I enjoyed being out among the good folk of Philly. We had a long walk, checked out the cyclists and the vendors and munched on a hotdog. AT some point, the MS wandered off and I lost him, so I just walked home without him as I had the precious key.

Later we had our first official visitors - the MS's youngest sister and niece Baby Bubba. We took advantage of their free Zoo membership and trekked off in the heat to the famous Philadelphia Zoo (the first zoo in America, so I hear). Now let me make one thing clear. In general, I loathe zoos. I always feel this strong urge to free all the miserable looking animals from their bondage. It depresses me to see the bored and depressed (or am I projecting?) animals. Besides, I am a child of Africa, surely I've seen every animal there is to see, and in the wild!

Despite my strong anti-zoo feelings, I must say I begrudgingly enjoyed the 2 hours we spent there. Most of the enclosures were not so bad with the exception of the poor giraffe area - a veritable barren wasteland and not a bloody tree in sight for them to munch on. The very instinct and raison d'etre of a giraffe is to spend most of his day eating leaves and thorns off tree tops. Only 3 months ago I had the joy of seeing these giraffe's more fortunate cousins in Africa doing just that. These beautiful Philadelphia giraffes just stood around looking completely miserable. Ditto the poor elepants - four of them - crammed in a horrid enclosure. Plus two were Asian and 2 were African - the poor beasts probably can't even communicate with eachother!

I was amazed to see the tortoises in the zoo, I never imagined they could be that huge and that old. The zoo lady explained that they can live until 130! While we were observing them, one tortoise made a valiant attempt to escape his enclosure, and though I silently cheered him on, the zoo keeper somehow managed to wrestle the huge creature back into his pen. I also enjoyed the rare animals (particularly the long nosed shrew!) and monkeys, especially my fellow redhead primate sister - the orangatan who delighted the crowds with her gymnastics.

The Mouse Spouse was most disappointed that there were no lions in the zoo. First he'd had to get over his disappointment of not seeing one in South Africa, and now, yet again, the lions were no where in the house! He had to make do with Cape Hunting Dogs which he referred to as Dingos until I corrected him, and a pair of beautiful cheetahs. Plus, once we got home, hot and exhausted, and no doubt smelling of animal manure, there was Blanche, our resident wild cat, lying languidly on our front step, as if to say, "well I'm a cat!"

The four of us dined on some grilled chicken and salads, and hung out in our overgrown back yard. At some point Blanche slipped inside, and when I came upstairs to use the loo, she was curled up on our bed, with her head on MY pillow! Bad cat!

Tomorrow it's back to work. I should test out the bus system, but I haven't figured out the routes or purchased tokens, so I'll just drive in...

SM

Silent Night Bar the Odd Smoke Alarm

2005-06-04T23:40:00.000-04:00

Ah, here I am at 11:40PM, all alone in my little house. The only noise i hear are the neighbors water fountains outside the window. A nice calming noise. Oh, and a distant siren of some kind - no doubt cruising around N. Philly somewhere.

I haven't seen the Mouse Spouse for 2 days almost. He's been leaving before I get up, and returning after I've gone to sleep. God is smiling upon our joint efforts it seems as his phone has been ringing with many new jobs. You got to thank the lord for Craigslist - I diligently post ads for MS's new biz on their everyday, and it certainly pays off. And it's free unlike other advertising. A great service. Thank you Craig whomever you are!

The Cinderella saga continued today. I shlepped back to the old abode with vaccuum in tow to give it one last clean before surrendering final rent check and keys. I worked my little ass off and left the apartment in shining condition. I felt a little sad leaving - I've had three pretty good years there - my first home in Philly. It seemed like yesterday that I'd just arrived to an equally empty flat, with no furniture (it was all in storage in Israel) and no idea where the heck I was. I know I wrote in my diary that I hoped life would work out for me there and I even dared to hope I might meet a special someone in this City of Brotherly Love. Who would have thought?

This evening, after Blanche the neighborhood kitty stopped by, I cooked some hotdogs and pasta on the stove - the latter for a macaroni salad that the MS enjoys. After about ten minutes, this horrific alarm sounded. After getting back into my skin, I realized it was the smoke alarm! Evidently the steam from the pasta had triggered the sensitive alarm (how bloody ridiculous!). As this had never happened in my experience before, I had NO idea what to do. I reached for my cellphone and called the MS but he didn't answer his damn phone. I started to panic a bit - had visions of the fire dept arriving on my doorstep... I thought of calling my landlady - but then realized I should just knock on my neighbor's door and hope they would take kindly to my damsel in distress predicament. After knocking on the door, a nice looking bloke who I had never met (I had met his girlfriend/wife Robyn) opened the door. As I was trying to explain what was going on, the alarm went silent. I felt like quite the idiot, especially when he inquired innocently whether I'd burnt the something I was cooking on the stove! I'm sure I made a wonderful first impression. Not.

Tomorrow the MS will have a well earned break. Sister R and niece Baby Bubba are coming over to visit the new abode. Mom and Dad Mouse Spouse were going to come too, but nephew Jord is competing in a karate contest in NYC! He's only 5. Pretty awesome!

Tomorrow is the Wachovia bike race which zooms right past us on Lemon Hill, should be fun to step outside and see the cool dudes in their stretch lycra cycling outfits sweating it up the steep hill...

SM

Hello from the New Digs

2005-06-02T21:12:00.000-04:00

Well here I am, sitting at my desk in a whole new location. The move is over, my body aches, I'm feeling rather exhausted, but elated enough to feel an intense desire to blog. Before I begin, a shout out to my friends in DC who I hear enjoy my blog!

I also have to take a minute to praise and send kudos (which can have a whole different meaning if you are South African - kudos are a type of large antelope where I come from!) to my darling Mouse Spouse who was nothing less than WONDERFUL during the entire duration of this move. I kept thinking, G-d if he weren't here, how would I have ever managed this. For 5 days he has been shlepping heavy boxes back and forth between the two abodes, unloading them etc. What a team we were - I pack and unpack - he shleps. Not one complaint came forth from his mouth, and it gave me a whole new appreciation of my choice of husband. Not to mention how brilliant it is to be partnered with a man who is as handy as he is randy (oy, he'll kill me for that one!) - he can fix/build/install/unclog/assemble anything and everything. My being online 2 hours after our move is evidence of this. The Comcast dude arrived and the Mouse Spouse basically told him to go home - we were already online and the Cable TV was hooked up! Life is wonderful (ptui, ptui, ptui).

The whole professional move took scarcely 2 hours thanks to the aforementioned efforts by the MS - saving us a bundle. The dudes from Mambo were awfully nice. I was a bit worried when I first laid eyes on them as they were as skinny as me - but unlike me, their skinniness belied their strength. After they left, the Mouse Team worked steadily arranging, unpacking etc, and made one trip back to ParkTowne for the final motherload.

How nice it is to be in a house. Although it is a small house - it is far more spacious than what we are used to. It feels roomy and cosy at the same time. I tested out the claw foot tub on my weary bones, and it was quite divine - despite bathing amongst boxes. We also tested out the washing machine, which alas, was not as divine - it lead to a flood in the laundry room (or as us South Africans call it - the scullery - I wonder if Americans know that word, I should test it out...). We called our lovely landlady and it seems we are to get a spanking new washing machine in its stead. For now, our clothes are waterlogged and sitting unhappily in the machine.

Tomorrow I am off work - the MS has a job to go to (did I mention he is now working on his own biz doing home repairs and handyman work? Once again the Mouse Team are at work. I do the marketing/advertising - he does the work. So far so good, he is booked up all of next week! He is so much happier doing this than working for Corporate America.) - and I will go grocery shopping and take care of other shit like finding shoe racks. Between the two of us we possess far too many shoes/sneakers - I have told the MS that he has to get rid of some or else...

Well, it's goodbye for now from #2939. It's so nice and quiet here unlike ParkTowne. I noticed there are lots of doggies on our street, but I don't hear any barking. I must say, seeing all these dogs really makes me jealous, I have wanted one for so long. (Note to self: discuss this option with Landlady R).

I am rather thankful that I took my dear friend Liora's advice earlier. She told me, "make your bed before you unpack a box," which I did, and happily I can now flop into it and rest my weary, but happy soul...

SM

Cinderella in Phila

2005-05-29T22:23:00.000-04:00

I must admit I feel a bit like Cinderella today - I spent most of the day scrubbing kitchens - first at the new house in Brewery Town, and then back here at the apartment we are soon to vacate. Let me make something clear. I do not like to clean. I was raised in South Africa with servants - and good or bad, the embarrassing truth is that until I was 25 and living in Israel, I had never cleaned a damn thing other than the odd teacup on the maid's day off, done laundry or made a bed. I know, disgusting. But growing up in SA was rather different to say the least, and when you are living in that situation, you don't really know any other reality.

The Mouse Spouse and I headed to the new abode to get the keys from our lovely landlady R. We were very excited to finally gain entry. MS had packed up his truck with many of our boxes despite my protestations that we could leave it to the movers on Thursday and save his back/knees from potential damage. But MS was on a mission, and decidedly determined to move as much himself as he could muster. He did really well, and am happy to report that I already managed to clean the entire kitchen and unpack about 10 boxes. This move isn't going to be so bad (maybe I shouldn't have potentially jinxed myself with that statement?) - we're doing it gradually and we're very organized.

We had an unexpected visitor at the new house. A sweet kitty named Blanche who the friendly neighbors explained "belonged to the neighborhood" but is fed by our neighbor Rex (who sounds like a dog, no? but is a human). Blanche walked straight through the front door and made herself at home walking around the rooms, sniffed the boxes and kept me company as I did my travails in the kitchen. The Mouse Spouse left me alone for a few hours so he could go move more stuff still sitting at his parental home. I must admit, I enjoyed the feline company.

Tomorrow the move will continue, but for now we are chilling and watching MASH the movie. I will probably retire to my bed with a new book having read a fascinating new Torey Hayden book - "Twilight Children" - from start to fin yesterday. Next in line is a book called "Even After All This Time - A Story of Love, Revolution and Leaving Iran" by Afischineh Latifi. I love true stories that reflect interesting lives entwined in historical circumstances.

The Mouse Spouse has just informed me (it's 10.45PM) that he has a second wind and just left to load up his truck with boxes again: "I miss the house" quoth he. He's such a funny MS. Oh he wasn't so funny earlier today when, accompanied by his Dad, we went to Home Depot (or as I like to call it, Home Despot), with the seemingly easy task of buying a trash can! There were many cans, but not a single lid in sight. This got the Mouse Spouse very upset, he can't tolerate incompetance, and with Father Mouse Spouse urging him to "chill," naturally the Mouse Spouse's ire just escalated until I was forced to convince him to go sit in the car while I paid for my few, unintended purchases. One thing I learnt in my childhood growing up with several family members who were quick to get irate, that Father MS should learn, is that telling someone in a huff to "relax/chill/calm down" is the VERY worst piece of advice you can offer! The very, very worst!

SM

Of Packing, Literary Soirees and Dismal Weather

2005-05-25T12:34:00.000-04:00

Greetings!
I have been an absent blogger for some time due to much craziness in my life. The Mouse Spouse and I move this weekend (hopefully getting the keys in advance of official move on June 2) to our Mouse House in Brewery Town. We are so psyched, can't wait to get out of current abode replete with poor plumbing, large roaches and miserable management. I have been packing in earnest - it's difficult to get around the apartment without tripping on a box. I don't mind packing, it's unpacking that I loathe. I wish I could fly mother in for a few days - she is so efficient. I recall when we moved homes after 27 years in the same house, she had unpacked everything within two days! I am going to attempt the same feat - but I fear I shan't measure up to Mother. The Mouse Spouse has yet to pack a box - and most of his techie shit is still strewn around. He assures me that when we get the keys, he will move the bulk of his stuff, the tech equipment (TV, computers (4!)) and lots more so that Mambo Movers will only have to focus on the big stuff, thus saving us some moolah.

Last night I had the pleasure of "meeting" one of my literary idols -- Isabel Allende, author of House of Spirits, The Tales of Eva Luna, Paula and many other fabulous books. She was an absolute delight, very witty and interesting. I'll say it again, this is why I love being in America - you are exposed to people I only dreamt of ever seeing/meeting in South Africa. In a similar vein, a few days ago, we had the pleasure of seeing the Dali exhibit at the Phila Art Museum. I have always been fascinated by his surrealist art, and thought I'd seen it all. I was wrong. Big time. The exhibit was HUGE and exhausting, but absolutely wonderful. What a man he was, simply brilliant if not a little "moggy" as my dad would say.

And now to my major complaint. It is almost June and I am wearing two layers of winter clothing! What the f$%# has happened to our summer? It has rained incessently since Sunday, it's been cold and gloomy. Last Sunday was the Israel Independence Day Celebration on the Parkway - organized by the Federation I work for. It was a glorious day but the weather was horrid - we were lucky it didn't rain. Of course with my wedding date set for June 4, 2006, I can't help stress a bit that the weather will be this hideious next year this time! My whole wedding is outside (though with an inside opportunity should it rain) -- and I will freak out if the weather sucks. I will chat to G-d closer to the time....

SM

Best Reason for Kids I've Heard Thus Far...

2005-05-11T16:16:00.000-04:00

So I'm talking to one of my future sisters-in-law Stef on (appropriately) Mother's Day (when the clan gathered for a bbq), and she inadvertedly tells me that when she was pregnant with her second child J, her feet went up half a size.

"Holy crap" exclaimed I.

You see, I have been trapped in the ridiculous size 1.5 shoe for the last 20 years. There is no other adult I know who suffers the same hideous fate. Pity I wasn't born in turn of the Century China - I would have been Miss Popularity with my tiny feet - no need to bind these footies. So every time I walk around malls or downtown, I stare with avid hatred and envy at "adult" shoe stores because I am the ultimate shoe pariah. It's kids shoes for me - from now until death, and given that one shrinks with age, I can't bear the thought that at 60 I may be in booties or something equally childlike.

Perusing adult shoe stores for me is like a person who has just undergone stomach bypass surgery perusing the menu for a 5 star restaurant. And shopping in kiddie stores is just so humiliating. I guess I should be grateful that American kids (these being under the age of 8 - given that 9+ year olds are usually adorned with breasts and large feet in this "everything is huge" country) these days are pretty sophisticated; that 8 year-olds are wearing the occasional high heel. And thank God for websites like Zappos which not only have a large selection of kiddie shoes, but also spare me the humiliation of going to a real shoe store. I have ordered many a pair of shoes online. There is also Cinderella of Boston which caters for petite adults, but just my luck, most of their shoes start at size 2!

Which brings me back to Stef's comment. Would it be worth my while to bring a few kids into this world just to be able to shop in adult shoe stores? Let's see, if my feet would go up half a size with each kid, I'd need to birth 7 kids just to get to a size 5!

I'll have to give this more thought.

SM

Ground Zero

2005-05-05T12:59:00.000-04:00

I am not a big shopper. I don't delight in clothe's shopping at the best of times. But there is one store that I am enthusiastic about - Petite Sophisticate - becos in the last while I've almost fitted into their size 0 clothing. Yesterday I heard there was a one day sale there, so I shlepped to Liberty Place after work to see what I could find.

Much to my joy, there were a plethora of size 0 suits, shirts, trousers and jackets, so I grabbed an armful and headed into the changing room. I must admit that upon disrobing and standing before the mirror, in the well-lit cubicle, in bra and panties, I was rather stunned to see my form. My derriere has definitely grown, as have my thighs and belly. I barely recognized myself. Usually, gaining weight throws me into paroxyms of glee, but I have to admit, staring at this weird evolving body left me feeling less than wildly ecstatic. Of course I know I'm not fat, but I have filled out that's for sure. All the size 0 trousers fitted a little too snuggly around my waist (in the past I'd always had to roll up the waistband), and some of the shirts failed to stretch sufficiently over my bosom. Of course the bottoms of the trousers still extended a meter around my ankles, and the arms on most of the shirts/jackets came to the tips of my fingers. Evidently, I am not growing everywhere.

Despite my new-found body angst and amazement, I still managed to walk out of there with 3 cotton shirts (no ironing required); a pink jacket (ok, I'll roll the sleeves), khaki pants (need to be shortened of course) and a scarf, all for the amazing price of $180. Not bad.
I think however, I will have to start cutting down on my daily donut for breakfast...I'm not quite ready to graduate to a size 2!

SM

Ah the childless life!

2005-04-28T22:38:00.000-04:00

There is a witty new blog in the blogsphere - it's called Hot Coffee and Hot Showers - it is described as "the delusional and often pedantic writings of a forty- something mother of three, daughter to two, and wife of one, living in South Jersey, working (part time) in Philly." I happen to know its author, Alice, and she is a riot. I knew she was born to blog and encouraged her. I am chuffed to say I was not disappointed when I read her first postings. Check them out!

In her post today, she describes her average morning from 6.15am to 8.30am - and trust me, it's pretty harrowing. I thought it would be fun to describe my morning to contrast our lifestyles. Here goes:

6.15am -- Scarlet Mouse is snuggled up in bed lost in her dreams. The Mouse Spouse is snoring next to her.

6.30 am -- zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

7.00 am -- zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

7.30 am -- alarm clock goes off. SM resets it to 8 am and goes back to sleep

8.00 am -- alarm goes off again. SM lies in bed for 5 more minutes and then gets up. Mouse Spouse sleeps on.

8.05 am -- SM pees, checks her email, jumps in the shower, brushes her teeth

8.15 am -- SM gets dressed

8.20 am -- SM puts on minimum amounts of make up, perfume

8. 22 am -- SM removes frozen meal from freezer and sticks it in her handbag

8.24 am -- SM massages the Mouse Spouse's foot - his gentle mode of being awoken - says goodbye and resets the clock to 8.45am for him

8.25 am -- SM descends to her car in the garage, drives 4 blocks to work

8.32 am -- SM finds a spot right outside work.

8.35 am -- SM is at her desk, ready to work. Breakfast has not entered her head -- that will occur to her around 10 am when she will pop out for a donut.

SM

Wedding Mayhem

2005-04-25T22:21:00.000-04:00

Picture the scene. Sunday afternoon at the Center City Wyndham Hotel. Imagine 5,000 twittering brides-to-be running amok in a huge conference hall with their equally excitable mothers/mothers-in-law and the occasional (not-so excited) fiances (obviously shlepped there against their will). Welcome to the uniquely American experience of the Bridal Expo.

So there I was, gawking in a state of advanced flabbergastedness (ok I know that's not a word) at the crazy scene. There were probably about 50 different wedding vendors trying to ply their wares - everything from bridal registries, to kitchy wedding tzadkes, to skin rejuvenation clinics, to limos, photographers, DJs, bands, honeymoons, Sex Aid Parties... You name it, it was there. And what amazed me was how seriously all these brides and their parties in tow seemed to be considering all these vendor presentations. All I could think about was, Jesus Christ, there is money to be made in weddings! It seems to me that people lose all sense of values and moderation when it comes to planning a wedding. I mean there were brides-to-be (we all had stickers reading "VIB - Very Important Bride, stuck to our bosoms) wearing tasteless tshirts reading, "Soon to be Mrs Bob Smith". How completely embarracing!

After an hour amidst the mayhem, I had had just about enough of fake, smiling vendors and giggling gerties, so grabbing my bags (every vendor plied you with information brochures, goodies, magazines etc), I trekked back to my car. The bags were damn heavy - you could use bridal magazines in place of dumbells - and by the time I got home, I was sore and exhausted. I was full of envy for the Mouse Spouse who had refused to accompany me on my first Bridal Expo, who was stretched out on the couch watching TV when I trudged through the door.

On a different note, Passover has been rather pleasant. Last night we sedered at my delightful cousins, and I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of reading and singing our way through the haggadah and as usual, overeating thanks to my cousin who is unable to cater for anything less than 300 famished people despite the fact that the guests numbered 16. It was just a great evening - thank God I have some close SA family here - it's like going home everytime I spend time with them. For our first seder, I entertained the Mouse Spouse's parents. It was short notice, so I availed myself of the typical Jewish American conveniences - bottled matzo ball soup and bottled gefilte fish. I didn't eat either, I just can't bring myself to eating that stuff, especially the fish. Apologies Mrs. Manischevitz. I did cook Rosemary Chicken from scratch, and it was succulent and delish. Pleasant evening all round.

Today I didn't have work due to the Jewish hol - so I spent my day packing a few boxes, and painting a door sign for the Mouse House. If I say so myself, it came out pretty awesome. I wish I could do this as a career, I go into a depression whenever I finish a craft job - I just love arts and crafts.

SM

This could be IT!

2005-04-19T09:11:00.000-04:00

I think I have found the venue where I'd like to get married! It's called Philmont Country Club and it's in NE Phila. The Mouse Spouse's Mom and I went to check it out on Saturday. I wasn't sure I'd like a country club - for me it had connotations of snobbery and elitism. Not that there is anything wrong with that, some of my best friends are snobs and elitists. Not.

Anyway, the inside of the club is rather grand - very luxurious and upscale - we saw the banquet/ballrooms which are the typical sort with big frescos on the wall, chandeliers etc, just what I am NOT looking for. I want my wedding to be as outdoors as possible.

When you walk through the lobby/cocktail area, you walk out onto a delightful, large L-shaped patio covered in green and white striped awning. I could immediately picture my wedding there. The area is ringed in pretty flower boxes and surrounded by the lush country club lawns. Below the patio, is a big open area for the ceremony. And after the ceremony, it would be an ideal place to have the band and dance floor. I really liked the outdoor area very much and would be happy to get married there. In addition, the menu is wonderful and there is no facility fee. I just wish my parents were here to see it and make the decision, it's terribly hard trying to convey everything via email to South Africa.

Other positive news is that the Mouse House is ours! On Saturday we signed the lease and our move is set for June 2. Here is a photograph of our delightful abode (the one with the red door):

So I've been thinking about wedding dresses. Just thinking. It's too early to go shopping. Anyway, I was cruising some wedding sites, and came across a dress I really liked. So, to save myself the hassle of going to the store in New Jersey, I just went to Photoshop instead to see how I'd look in it. You be the judge!

My New Korean Identity?

2005-04-14T09:11:00.000-04:00

Two weeks ago, upon the advice of my tax advisor Bill, I bought an IRA through a financial consultant he recommended. I chose the fund to invest in and sent off my check. Then yesterday I get the weirdest phone call from the financial consultant to say that when the Fund checked my documentation they found that my name and my social security number did not match!

WHAT?

Some panic set in. Had some idiot stolen my identity? You hear about that all the time. Apparently the name that came up on the Social check was SOON instead of SLON, making me sound more Korean than South African! Anyway, with much trepidation, for we all know how hard it is to find a human being to speak to at the bastions of bureaucracy, I called Social Security. After waiting on hold for ten minutes, I was able to speak to someone. After asking me many questions, she confirmed that my name was indeed SLON. PHEW. I informed the financial consultant who was as baffled as I was. But at least this is some foul up on their side and not a case of some dark Korean conspiracy.

Meantime, the wedding venue search continues. La Lutta Continua! I am now looking at Philmont Country Club which seems reasonable, but it sounds too good to be true, especially as my impression of Country Clubs is snobby and indulgent. I looked into the Japanese Tea Garden, but they only do ceremonies, not receptions. Also contacted Philadelphia's Independence Visitor's Center, and await a broshure from them. Out of pure desperation, I also booked a spot in a Wedding Seminar in early May. I have no doubt that this is some sort of racket, but I figured for $25 I didn't have much to lose!

This Saturday we head to our new little (rented) house to sign the lease and take measurements of rooms etc. We will be moving on June 2 with the famed Mambo Movers who come highly recommended from various sources. I know it's over six weeks away, but yours truly has already started packing! The Mouse Spouse thinks I'm nuts, but I prefer to be super organized ahead of time. I have also been methodically cleaning the apartment - somewhat in the spirit of Passover, and somewhat in the spirit of saving some of my security deposit when the Park Towne people come and inspect the place!

Adieu
SM

To Hell and Gone for some Black Mambazo Magic

2005-04-10T00:20:00.000-04:00

Tonite I got us tickets to see the amazing South African Zulu acapela group Ladysmith Black Mambazo at the Keswick theater in Glenside. We left an hour early but got hopelessly lost - the web directions sucked. The Mouse Spouse got all huffy as he is wont when we get lost and he stubbornly refused to ask anyone for directions. Men! We eventually found the theater but got to the show 35 minutes late! I ranted at the box office dude about their website directions. He looked at me like I'd stepped off a flying saucer.

The show was fabulous, the 9 men are so talented, melodic and wonderful dancers. I'm really pleased we finally found the damn place, I would have hated to miss it! The Mouse Spouse agreed after sipping a vodka and orange juice which seemed to help his mood.

Earlier today we went past our adorable house-to-be, I hadn't noticed that it has a red door, for some reason that just adds to the charm. We drove around the neighborhood and got a wonderful feel about the area. I am seriously considering getting a very little dog - the house is minutes from a great dog run and park area, and I do so want a dog. She shall be called Princess Lola G in homage to my two deceased canines Prince and Georgie, and Lola was the street I grew up on in Johanessburg. I'll wait a while, need to really think it through, a dog is a 15 year commitment and right now it's hard enough coming to terms with the possible 50 year commitment to the Mouse Spouse! Also have to see if I can overcome the guilt of leaving it alone from 8-6 when I'm at work...

Not sure if I mentioned that I checked out the Valley Green Inn as a potential wedding venue - it's along the Wissahicken creek, really sweet and quaint, albeit a bit on the goyish side - so many of the venues here have a colonial, cold feel to them. I like the casual setting along the creek, but I'll continue checking out other alternatives. And oh joy, on our way back from the Keswick, we're listening to the news on the radio and hear that some boy scouts came across a dead man floating in the Wissahicken Creek right near the Valley Green! Can you see the scene..."Do you Mouse take the Mouse Spouse to be your wedded...ahem...what's that ghastly smell....?" The guests, particularly the South Africans gaze at the water, aghast that even in Philadelphia, shit, like murder happens... No doubt they'd feel quite at home. Ahem.

Oh, and Houston, we have a date! May 21, 2006! First Sunday after Lag B'omer!

SM

The Mouses Found a House!

2005-04-06T21:57:00.000-04:00

Oh joy! Purely by chance, I was cruising along the Craigslist website (a daily curiousity), looking at places to buy and rent, when I came upon a listing that caught my eye in the rental area. "Charming Art Museum house, on quiet street near Art Museum, Boat House Row, Kelly Drive. Great for couple or single person. Lovingly rehabbed by contractor owner."

"Charming" - I love that word. And the little house totally measured up to its description. We met the owner Rosalie after work today, and as soon as I saw the house, I loved it. It has 3 levels - basement (in good shape and the perfect haven for the Pack Rat Mouse Spouse and all his stuff), first floor with hardwood floors, lovely kitchen with separate laundry (a huge plus - most homes in Philly have the washer/dryer in the basement and I can't handle shlepping clothes up and down two flights of stairs!), and a wee garden - just big enough for a small table and 2 chairs, and a BBQ! Long have I dreamed of having a BBQ - I used to BBQ every night when I lived in Florida.

Upstairs is carpeted, and it has TWO bedrooms. They are quite small, but will easily meet our needs. The best room in the house is the bathroom - it has a gorgeous claw-foot tub and separate shower stall. Let me explain why this is so awesome. You see the Mouse Spouse is a very hirsute man and everytime he showers (our shower is in our bathtub here), the bath becomes decorated with his little curly black hairs. While this may appear artistically attractive to some, it is not the kind of mural one can bath on. So everytime I take a bath - I love bathing - I lay in the bath and read for an hour - I have to scrub the bath. Not very fun. So the thought of a separate tub and shower stall, is nothing less than heaven on earth for me!

The house (I think we'll have to call it the Mouse House - get a sign made as it really is little and quaint) is on a lovely quiet street within easy walking distance to the Art Museum, and the beautiful parks around Kelly Drive. It is also conveniently located to public transporation.

What more could one ask for? A pool? Well, yeah, that will be the only thing I'll miss at Park Towne Place...but it's a small sacrifice compared to the gorgeousness of this charming abode. After much thought (about 5 minutes to be exact), we knew this was the house we have been looking for... Tomorrow the Mouse Spouse will drop the application and deposit off on his way to work (he's doing home repairs for his sister and has a long line of clients in the wings...the Mouse Spouse is never one to lie on the couch and give up!).

Phase two: No doubt fight with Parktowne management to break my lease a month early, they don't have a reputation for being very obliging when it comes to these matters. But I didn't go to law school for nothing -- I will be firm but diplomatic. In fact, I think I'll go reread my lease right now so I know what I'm arguing about...

SM

Time Flies When You're in Crisis

2005-04-05T20:10:00.000-04:00

I'm back. Thanks to all those fans who nagged me and wondered why I'd ceased to blog. Well, no reason other than that life sort of overtook me for a while, and my priorities shifted from blogging to staying sane.

Without going into too many gory details, the mouse spouse lost his job on the day after we returned from SA. That was of course a blow to him, that also affected me. In the same week we moved in together (two mice living in sin now...sounds delish), and had the additional pressure of wondering when to get married. So just many ups and downs, adjustments and long term angst. Funny, engagements should, one would expect, be tres exciting and joyous, but it's quite a psychological shift in perception and I think deep in our murky subconsciousnesses, we are both slightly terrified of what it all means. Our love is steadfast, and will shall overcome...it may just take some time to get used to this whole gradual progression to institutional living.

We decided - or should I say I did (to quote the Mouse Spouse - "it's your day, it's your decision, you're the bride!") that we would push the wedding date off until next year, though we (I?) (has) have yet to decide on a date. It's no easy feat you know. What with Passover in mid-April - then you have 3 weeks of the Omer during which you cannot get married - and God forbid you plan a wedding pre-Passover - none of my religious friends and family would come. Pre-Passover (about now actually) is a homemaker's nightmare if you are observant. You have to clean everything inside out. If you stroll around Jerusalem at this time of year, you see everything from comforters to coats turned inside out hanging out windows or on washing lines. Everyone takes it very seriously. Even non-religious Israelis get into the swing of things and do a thorough spring cleaning. So anyway...if you take all this into account, we end up getting married in June!

And this is just the date dilemma. What about venue? Omigod! Americans are out of their minds. I've had quotes for brunch receptions to the tune of $137 per person! A frigging brunch! Some facilities charge outlandish amounts of money just to rent a frigging space - from $2,000-$6,000. And that is sans food for godsakes! I cannot understand how people are willing to spend $50,000 on a wedding. A 5 hour experience. $10,000/hour. Yes, yes, I know it's a once in a lifetime, joyous occasion (though us skeptics over here will remind you dear America, that one in two marriages here end in divorce - and divorce attorneys probably charge more than $10,000/hour!) - but please, who needs such stupid excess! I am determined to succeed in planning a beautiful wedding for reasonable amount of money - I couldn't live with myself otherwise! And this has nothing to do with being mean, it has to do with the triumph of solid values over material excess. Sometimes, in talking to venue planners, I find myself unable to hold back my laughter at the ridiculous prices: "$12 per chair for the ceremony? Are you bonkers? it's a frigging chair for godsakes!"
[Apologies: I just noticed that I ranted on about this very topic in the previous post - it had been so long, I had forgotten. Oops.]

If I have to hear any more of this American ridiculousness I may just have to grab the Mouse Spouse and elope! We could go to Jamaica for a month for half of what we'd pay for a wedding! Hmm, something to ponder, n'est-ce pas?

And it goes on and on...I can't even bear the thought of trying to find a dress. Oh the humiliation, I can already anticipate it:
Scarlet Mouse: "Hi, I'm getting married in Spring, I'm looking for a wedding gown"
Salesperson: "My word, you are so tiny! Adorable! We might have opt for a flowergirl dress for you!"
Scarlet Mouse: (under her breath) "Oh fuck off!"

On a more positive note, I just ate the most delish din. There is a new Israeli joint downtown with fresh falafel, pita and salads. I picked up some for din, fried up some liver (don't go "yuch" - liver fried in crumbs is delish and tres nutricious!) and stuffed a pita with humus, salad, liver, techina and Israeli pickles. Ah, it was so close to the real thing which I used to eat regularly in Jerusalem. You rock "Mama's Vegetarian" (20th and Market streets).

SM

I do, but WHEN?

2005-03-14T21:40:00.000-05:00

I'm mired in a dilemma. When to marry the Mouse Spouse. Do we do the deed in Sept 2005 or wait till Spring 2006? Everyone keeps telling me it's my decision. I wish they'd shut up and just decide for me! Can I organize a wedding and perhaps buy a house/move and retain my sanity? Je ne sais pas!

I've dutifully began making enquiries, so it's not like I've done nothing...I am just horrified at what things cost. I never realized there is for eg. a fee for a facility over and above everything else. They seem to vary between $1000 and $5000! Bloody ridiculous. And it seems you can't get a brunch for under $65/head. I have a good mind to rent a bloody IHOP and people could eat a mountain of food for that amount of money! It's all very lovely - a wedding - but it seems like a hell of a lot of money down the bog if you ask me. Instead of paying 130-150 people to eat some brunch snacks, I would rather furnish my home or go live in Bermuda for a year. I mean where does one begin this process? My parents are footing the bill as is custom, and their pleasure - but do they have any idea what things cost here - and given the Rand/Dollar exchange, well they might have to end up taking a trip to Pilgrims Rest to pan for some nuggets to pay for the wedding. Plus, I have the angst of worrying about my fam in SA getting visas. The American Consulate in Johannesburg are notoriously nasty and mean about granting South African's entry into their beloved country.

Above all this angst, I'm starting to look into buying a house. I have been spurred on by the Mouse Spouse moving in with me. My one bedroom is feeling considerably smaller - my dear Mouse Spouse should actually be renamed the Rat Spouse as he is the biggest pack-rat I have ever encountered. He doesn't throw out ANYTHING. I by contrast, delight in throwing things down the trash chute. I hate clutter. I hate keeping things that have no use or no reason for continued existance. The Mouse Spouse by contrast saves everything from outdated computer catalogs, to an assortment of wires/splicers/transistors (and other undiscernable hardware), to altoid tins, old tickets to concerts, menus from take out in other states....I could go on and on. I fear I am going to be one of those wives who are forced to secretely raid their husband's junk and chuck it away surrepticiously! And I haven't even mentioned his clothes! He collects TShirts. Some date back to 1970, are washed out, torn and barely fit over his nipples, let alone his belly. But the dear Mouse Spouse cannot part with them - and he always seems to provide me with a lucid explanation: "I may need to grubby clothes to paint"/"I wore that to my first Tesla concert in 1974" etc... So in short, we need a HOUSE. A house with a BIG basement where the Mouse Spouse can have his own little lair littered with all his beloved trinkets and collections. As long as I don't have to trip over them or gaze upon them every day, I have no objection to their continued existance.

It's not easy to find a house on our budget. We are looking in Roxborough/Manayunk/East Falls as it's a safe-ish neighborhood that we can afford. But looks like we'll be forced to live in a rowhouse - they are pretty ugly on the outside, but inside many are pretty nice. The Mouse Spouse would prefer a single house - so would I frankly - but at his point in our financial lives, beggars can't live in mansions. We will have to put up with hearing our neighbors toilet flush I suppose.

I have a nice little surprise for the Mouse Spouse when he gets home tonight. I caught a big cockroach - trapped him/her under a glass. I am not afraid of roaches - I am an African, long accustomed to creepy crawly (and jumping) insects. I could easily dispose of the roach, but I am amused at the thought of testing the Mouse Spouse's manhood. He is not too fond of insects, but they are VERY fond of him. This was proven again and again in South Africa when he got bitten by an assortment of hungry mites. I find it amusing to see insects chase him - I know it's nasty of me, but the MS gets all flustered and flees the scene waving his arms in the air. One cannot but laugh. So I'll let you know how he deals with the sizable roach... I'm going to bed now, I hope I do not awake to a shrieking Mouse Spouse!

SM

Post Trip Funk

2005-03-10T23:01:00.000-05:00

It's almost a week since we returned from South Africa, and I still feel like I'm jet-lagged. Perhaps it is because I had one day to relax before having to pack and shlep again, back to New York for a 2 day Internet conference. I can't believe I'm bitching about having to go to NY. Usually I love going there, but this time I was just too damn tired. I was asleep at 8.30PM that first night - just deadbeat. I almost felt guilty - here I was in the greatest city in the world, and I was going to sleep! The conference was pretty good, but my concentration wavered at times. Back to Philly on Tues PM - in the freaking snow - and crashed again.

Went back to work Wednesday, got an awesome welcome - never thought I'd be happy to go back to work, but it's a good place to be!

And the wedding? Well, I've been to darn tired to do much. Made a few enquiries - found a few places that seem nice, wrote a few bands -- but suddenly September is seeming way too soon, so I'm seriously considering waiting until next Spring. I mean, what's the frigging rush? Why drive myself insane? The Mouse Spouse says it is up to me. Talking of which, he has now moved in with me. It's quite an adjustment - my apartment is feeling considerably smaller with his extra stuff - but any change takes adjustment, and I'm sure we'll both settle in soon.

Off to sleep again - I just can't get enough of it!

SM

Vac over; Back to Routine

2005-03-05T11:12:00.000-05:00

Well, hard to believe I'm sitting here back in my apartment in Philly. The journey back was long and grueling! It was extended by 2 hours thanks to strong winds. We again stopped in Dakar and watched in disbelief as about 20 security guards entered the plane and began tearing it apart in search of god knows what. We had to identify all our hand luggage, and all the seats that had been vacant were literally stripped and then restored. Can someone explain to me why the hell they need to do this? How does drugs, bombs or whatever enter a plane at many thousand feet? We'd been checked entering the plane - so what was this whole performance for? Some stupid invention from the Patriot Act or some job creation program in Senegal? Joining the guards on board were a large number of mosquitos which all made a beeline for the Mouse Spouse and proceeded to bite him. For some reason African insects seem to love terrorizing the Mouse Spouse. His body is riddled with bites, scratches and the like - little African mementos.

On the plane I watched the most excellent South African film entitled "Yesterday". I believe it was nominated in the foreign film category for an Oscar. Everyone should see this movie - it is about a rural African woman who contracts the HIV virus from her husband who works on a mine in Johannesburg. The film was so sad and poignant and I sat there sobbing my eyes out. No article, documentary etc brought home the SA AIDS tragedy to me like this film did.

Upon arrival at JFK I was fingerprinted and photographed, but not interrogated thankfully. We also got through customs without any questions and were happy to see the Mouse Spouse's dad waiting for us. Bless him, he is always on time and so reliable! By this time we were all starved - I hadn't eaten for 24 hours - so we stopped in Elizabeth for a Burger King breakfast. I was dying for a whopper, but alas we could only enjoy the greasy offerings of the breakfast menu. I was so hungry that even my oily french toast fingers tasted delish.

Finally back in my apartment - ah it was good to be home. Right now my living room is strewn with the contents of 3 suitcases. I hate unpacking! When I did get home yesterday, I went straight to sleep from noon to midnight! I was then up until 4am and went back to sleep until 10am. I still feel really out of it. And tomorrow blast it, I have to travel to NYC for a 2 day conference! I'm really not in the mood for more travel....urgh!

SM

What a Party!

2005-03-03T03:50:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was a fab day. In the afternoon we went to collect my engagement ring and it turned out so beautiful, beyond my wildest expectations. I love it! I can't stop looking at it in wonder thinking, wow, I'm really getting married!

Last night Mom and Dad threw the MS and me a wonderful engagement party. The caterer outdid herself - the food was breathtaking - sushi, cheese blintzes, herring, smoked salmon, cheese cake, exotic fruit and much more. More people than we expected turned out - there were probably up to 60 people! I didn't know many of them as they were parental friends, but they were all super friendly. It was so weird to see friends of my parents, old neighbors etc who I hadn't seen in many years. Mom even invited my ex-headmaster and his wife - I was a tad nervous to see them - somehow that inbuilt trepidation for your headmaster never really vanishes, but it turned out to be lovely to talk to them and catch up. When you are at school you never see your teachers and headmaster as quite human - so now as adults, it was good to relate on an equal level.

It was just a superb evening in every way - the weather was warm and balmy, the food was outstanding and it was brilliant chatting to all these people who were all so genuinely thrilled for the Mouse Spouse and me. The Mouse Spouse also enjoyed himself - he is unbelievable in that he can chat confidently to anyone - even all these strangers at the party. I could never do that - I'm too shy with folks I don't know.

After everyone departed, the family, Crocodile and the MS and me had a fun time opening all our gifts. I hadn't really expected gifts and certainly not gifts of the high quality and expense that we received. They were tasteful and useful - now we just have to figure out how to pack it all in to take home.

We leave tonight for JFK. For once, I am leaving without this devastating feeling of sorrow at having to say goodbye for god knows how long. This time, we know we will all be seeing eachother again soon, and for a wonderful, happy occasion in Philly!

SM

Four Days of Total Bliss

2005-03-02T02:28:00.000-05:00

We're back - back from the bush and back from paradise. Where do I begin?

Friday we set off at 5am for the Kruger Park - the Mouse Spouse, my 2 brothers and I. We passed through very scenic places like Sabie, Dullstroom etc, and stopped en route for milkshakes and pancakes. We entered the Park around 10am through the newish Phabeni Gate, and immediately began staring out the windows for game. The first 'game' we spotted was a large dung beetle, pushing an enormous round turd across the road! Thereafter, we spotted some zebra, a beautiful elephant and the backside of a rhino. The latter was most exciting as in all the years of visiting Kruger, I'd never seen a rhino!

We then drove to our restcamp, one of the oldest in the Park called Pretoriaskop. Bro B had reserved the most beautiful accommodation - it was supposed to be a family cottage but turned out to be three separate rondawels (huts but square) with 3 beds each and a bathroom, plus a separate kitchen and dining area. It was very secluded and we felt like we were in our own private camp. Nights are magical at Kruger. That night was an awesome electrical thunderstorm, and the electricity kept going out so we were in darkness save for a candle. We had a delicious bbq (braai) of chicken, roasted peppers, potatoes and salad, and sat on our veranda marveling at the storm.

Saturday, Bro B, MS and moi set out early to look for animals. Bro S left a note requesting that he not be disturbed! To be honest, the game viewing was rather disappointing all in all. Pretoriaskop was once known as lion country but we didn't see a single one. Part of the problem was the Park was particularly lush, with long grass obscuring much of our view into the bush. We drove around for 5 hours, stopped at waterholes and saw giraffe, baboons, vervet monkeys, wildebees, warthogs, hippo, crocs, many impala buck, kudu, mongeese, birds, elephant - so it was still glorious, but somehow a visit to the Park without seeing a cat is always a tad disappointing. We stopped for lunch at one of our favourite camps - Lower Sabie - and enjoyed an array of toasted sandwhiches while we sat overlooking the lush Sabie River.

That night, the MS and me boarded an open truck/jeep for a night game drive from 5-8pm. I'd never been on one and enjoyed it immensely. This time we saw a family of white rhino, gorgeous owls, a hippo out of the water, an eagle, brush hares, klipspringer buck and some other stuff. It was just very exciting to be out in the Park after hours. You are generally not permitted to drive in the Park between 6.30 PM and 6.00 AM as you would obviously run the risk of crashing into an animal!
On our return, the faithful bros had braaied up another delight - chops, boerewors (SA Sausage), sweet potatoes, butternut and salad. This time there was no rain, a huge orange full moon and the sounds of different animals around the camp. Glorious.

Sunday morning after a sumptuous breakfast (which I did not eat. Unfortunately for me, the malaria pills we had to take had a bad effect on me and every morning I was beset with a case of the shits.) we headed out the park towards Casa Do Sol, a resort about 45 minutes from the Park in Hazyview. It is difficult to describe the splendor of the Casa. It is a spanish style resort nestled in the most beautiful gardens and hillside. It is very upmarket and luxurious. The brothers dropped us off there, had lunch with us and then headed back to Joburg to resume their work schedules. The MS and I were finally alone and felt like we were on an idyllic pre-honeymoon. Our suite was gorgeous - we had our own private garden and we were steps away from 2 lovely swimming pools. That afternoon, we relaxed at the pool and just chilled.

Dinner was served under the stars el fresco. The food was amazing! The MS started with snails, and we both had Portuguese style chicken peri-peri followed by apple crumble (MS) and berries and ice-cream (moi). Breakfasts were equally amazing - the biggest menu I've ever seen - everything from eggs, to chicken liver, sirloin steak, pancakes etc. Unfortunately, I am not a breakfast eater (this compounded to the malaria pill reaction) so I just had scones and tea, while the MS tucked into eggs, bacon (eek!) and toast. We were waited on hand and foot by the friendliest, most delightful staff. After breakfast, we went for a walk around the grounds and then we lay at the pool in the 36C heat. I read an entire book, while the MS dozed. AT one point, feeling very hot, I headed into the pool with my book and sat in the water reading. Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye I saw something long and black swimming towards me...

"MS, wake up! there is a snake in the pool!!!" yelled I.
The MS woke up with a jolt and headed to the pool. I was rather freaked out - snakes are something that terrify me and the thought that this creature could have been swimming around me for a while, made me kind of nervous. We looked at the snake as it swam in circles around the pool. As the MS got close to it, it raised it's head, in a hooded manner. Just like a cobra! And a cobra it was! A baby one. The gardener came and fished it out the pool in his net, confirming that it was indeed a cobra. Oh lovely, thought I. Not poisonous assured the gardener. Oh gee, that is reassuring! We think the cobra was decapitated as the gardener, while chatting to another staff member, made the finger across his throat gesture. All I could think about was, where was the mommy cobra? was she loitering around the pool somewhere eager to bite us in revenge for murdering her offspring?

The MS and I had another delightful meal by the pool. We dined on gazpacho (my fave!), followed by smoked salmon salad (me) and roast beef in horseradish sauce (MS). That afternoon, we retired to our room, had a nap and chilled in our garden, entertained by the monkeys swinging in the nearby trees. Dinner was sirloin steak, followed by the classic SA treat, milktart.

We were up bright and early yesterday to await the arrival of our rented car that we would use to drive back to Joburg. It arrived rather late, but we eventually set out for our trip "home". The trip should have taken 4-5 hours, but the MS and I got hopelessly lost in the mountains around Sabie and Lydenberg, and we ended up getting home around 8pm! The MS got very frustrated and huffy - who could blame him - driving around in a strange country, in a strange car, on the opposite side of the road to what one is used to and then getting lost - not the greatest fun in the world! All we wanted to do was get back to Bro B's place and collapse and chill, but Mother had other ideas and had prepared din for us. So we headed to the parents to enjoy the repast. Poor MS was exhausted! When we finally got to Bro B's place, we went straight to bed, full of the wonderful memories of our trip into the bush and into a Casa paradise. We tried not to think of the nightmarish drive back to civilization.

SM

PS My cold has gone! Woohoo!

Dig the Dagga, man!

2005-02-23T05:58:00.000-05:00

Afraid this is a rather boring post - as it has been an uneventful 24 hours. The Mouse Spouse enjoyed his travels to Soweto yesterday - he went to the Hector Peterson Memorial Museum (Hector was the first child murdered in the Soweto Uprising in 1976), saw Nelson Mandela's various houses, market places, Bara Hospital and many other township delights. He was amazed to see marijuana plants (called 'dagga' here) growing wild all over the township...seemingly undisturbed. Dagga is extremely cheap here and readily available for the taking.

Last night we enjoyed spaghetti bolognaise chez the parents. The men indulged in whiskeys as per usual - the SA men are turning the Mouse Spouse into an alchi. (I jest!)

Today we are off to lunch at an open mall called Melrose Arch - all we seem to do here is stuff ourselves! The Mouse Spouse and I shall then have access to my decrepit old Honda (circa 1987) and shall go driving around to my old hood where I grew up. It has changed much since my childhood - all the houses are now ensconced in barbed wire or electrified fencing - and many roads are inaccessible due to booms and armed guards. Tis lovely! Not.

Last night I made great progress with the invisible cat Katja, she actually allowed me to pet her. For about 3 seconds before she scampered off.

SM

Away Wretched Cold!

2005-02-22T07:18:00.000-05:00

Well, the rain finally ceased and it's a nice sunny day. But here I am at 2pm in the afternoon, in my PJ's vainly trying to banish my cold once and for all. I decided I'd better just stay put today because last night I was coughing, sniffling and generally feeling rather crappy. Man, I am so sick of this! SA never agrees with me!

Anyway, rather than make the Mouse Spouse stay home with me, I organized for him to go on a tour of Soweto, the biggest black township in the Gauteng area. I've done the tour before and it's wonderful as Soweto has a rich and turbulent history. He will visit shebeens (black pubs), Apartheid memorials, houses of the rich and famous like Winnie (thug) Mandela, and shanty towns. It will certainly offer him a vastly different impression than he's attained thus far living in the plush Northern suburbs of Joburg.

Last night we had a wonderful evening at my mom's sister Josephine and her depleted fam (her one son immigrated to London). We indulged in soles (nothing like SA fish) and much more besides, and dinner was followed by a remarkable magic show delivered by my genius cousin Michael who is SA's best sports commentator, an actuary AND a magician! He did the most awesome tricks that left us all shaking our heads in wonderment.

Tomorrow, I'm planning on borrowing a car from my bro and taking the Mouse Spouse on a little tour of the neighborhood I grew up in - Victory Park. I hope I recall how to drive on the left - it's a bit scary after all the years I've been travelling on the right! Truth of the matter is, there is not a helluva lot to see and do in Joburg, we've practically done it all. Friday morn we leave for the Kruger National Park - my favorite vacation spot! I cannot wait to see the Mouse Spouses reaction to all the animals, the restcamps and beautiful scenery en route.

But now alas, I shall retire to my sumptuous bed where I will read and relax and pray that my wretched cold finally take a hike!

SM

Rain Pain

2005-02-21T03:38:00.000-05:00

I shouldn't complain about the weather - I believe it's snowing in PHilly, but here it's been raining solid for 3 days. What's up with that? Summer is the rainy season, but it's supposed to only rain in the evenings. I'm not impressed Big Guy.

I still have a horrid cold which is making me miserable despite the post engagement announcement excitement. Just wish it would take a hike already and let me be!

Yesterday the Croc, MS and I went to the Rosebank Market - I love this market as it combines a lot of african wares, with jewelery, food, clothes etc... There is always a nice vibe. Somehow we managed to spend quite a bit of money and came home with one bag of goodies only. We purchased two African musical instruments - not sure what you call them - wind pipes? Anyway, we paid the dude who was standing along side the merchandise and then he said he'd go get some wrapping for us, and he promptly vanished. After waiting in vain for his return, we wondered whether the dude was just some random guy pretending to own that store, pocketed the money and fled? We never did find out, and we walked away with our instruments rather nervously.

Due to the shitty weather, my cold etc we spent the rest of the afternoon chilling at my bro's flat, and my dad and other bro came over. I had some great one on one time with my dad, talking at length about everything under the sun. My dad, bless him, never calls anyone by their first name, he has a nickname for everyone, and for me, he has many ranging from Jokie Jokes, Porpoise to Big Fun, Big Stinge, PO and many more. I've been waiting in anticipation to see what name he bestows on the Mouse Spouse, but so far, nothing. I guess he needs some time...

SM

Farewell Spinsterhood!

2005-02-19T16:08:00.000-05:00

I'm engaged! What else can I say? The Mouse Spouse is truly going to be my Mouse Spouse! We announced our decision over Shabbat din while the whole fam were over. Everyone got very excited and emotional, it was great. Mother is already in a tizzy making lists, placing insertions in the paper etc...

Today the MS, Croc and I went to the Apartheid Museum - it was excellent, world class! Was so weird to realize I lived through most of it. Bizarro.
We just returned from a steak dinner in Melville - I had a rump with mash, 'twas so delish.

Only downer to the excitement of the engagement and the fun of being in SA is that I have a shitty cold - runny nose, dry cough etc. Damn it, I am so pissed - after all the preps I took! Anyway, hopefully it will pass soon, I should have to be afflicted during this happy time!

Going to have tea and gingerbread with the MS, bro and friend Roger.

SM

Countdown to Bliss

2005-02-18T04:38:00.000-05:00

In about 15 minutes, the oldest Mouse bro is taking the Mouse Spouse (MS) and me to my fave take out joint for lunch. I have been salivating about eating my all time fave SA treat, a Steers Hero Steak Roll for two years. I am totally psyched!

This morning we arose very early - actually I think jet lag kicked in last night cos both the MS and me woke up around 4am and couldn't get back to sleep. Remember how I waxed lyrical about the chirping crickets in yesterday's entry - well scrap that. They sound like frigging car alarms - the stupid chirping kept me up last night to the point that I had to put a pillow over my head to drown them out. Finally at 5am they ceased their racket, but then the birds started up. God Bless Africa!

As I was saying, this morning we got going early as we were off to visit my dad's axles factory called Go Axles. I knew the MS would get a huge kick out of the visit as being an engineer he loves that type of stuff. Sure enough, when my other brother who works with my dad showed us around, the MS just lit up. It was so cool seeing him so ecstatic and fascinated by all the machinery. I of course was rather bored - not being too interested in lathes, welders and the like, and the noise is just deafening. How those poor factory workers labor in that environment day in and day out is beyond me. And doing the same task over and over again. After the tour of the factory, Dad dropped us back at "home" and here we are.

Tonite the entire fam - or what's left of it thanks to immigration - are coming over for din, plus my best friend Crocodile. Mother won't reveal the menu, but I'm sure it will be all my old favorites like roast beef, roast potatoes etc... So far I have already sampled many of my old faves such as Cola Tonic and Lemonade, toasted chicken mayo sandwhich, tomato sauce crisps, herring and kichel, granidellas....and now, that succulent Hero Steak Roll awaits.

SM

Greetings from Africa

2005-02-17T04:55:00.000-05:00

I'm home!

The mouse spouse and I survived the grueling 17 hour flight - it actually wasn't that bad, but it did go on a bit... What was a big surprise was the lax security at JFK - neither our luggage or our persons were searched at all. No questions asked. It took about 3 mins to check in!

It is really weird to be home. It doesn't really feel like home anymore at all. It feels foreign. After our arrival, we went to my parent's home for a delish dinner of chops and boerewors. It was so wonderful to see my family and to introduce them to the Mouse Spouse. He seemed to enjoy it too.

We are staying at my brother's apartment which is just spectacular - he has impeccable taste. It feels like a 5 star deluxe hotel. We both flaked out at 10 and slept for 11 hours. I still feel tired - and expected to - becos the high altitude here takes getting used to.

It's glorious to be in summer again, and to hear familiar African sounds like birds twittering at dawn, the ducks flying overhead and the loud chirping crickets at night. Nothing quite like it.

Wonder what's going on in Philly as I type....we feel a world away...

SM

Farewell, Cheerio, Pip Pip...We'll (alas) Be Back Soon!

2005-02-14T19:38:00.000-05:00

As I sip on my delish Campbells Mushroom soup, listen to Seinfeld in the background...I bid you (who are you??) farewell. The above heading is from Oliver Twist by the way - I always loved that song.

Anyway, so we're almost packed, just the hand luggage to go which has to wait till tomorrow cos bipap goes in first - but everything is carefully lined up on the dining room table. I spent $20 on snacks for the journey - everything from donuts to Trident gum. I also bought mini bagels to make some marmite and peanut butter sandwhiches lest the plane food makes me nauseous (highly likely!).

My cuz Robyn who flew to SA on Saturday reported that the plane was "packed" and even better news - the SAA airline sprayed the interior with pesticides upon departure from Senegal. So not only do I have to suffer through 17 hours of boredom and sleeplessness, I also have to get gassed!

Anyway, please God it will be a safe and uneventful trip - that I won't get afflicted with some horrible airborne illness (like last time) and that the plane will not crash into the Pacific. I have this little ritual that noone knows about - except YOU now (who are you again?) - that each time I go on a long flight, I write a letter to all my loved ones telling them how much I love them. I then leave it somewhere in my apartment just in case something bad happens....I want my loved ones to know how I feel about them...I mean I tell them, but it's good to have that kind of stuff in writing. I usually tear up the letter when I get home safely. This time I feel less vulnerable as I'm not going to be alone, I'm going to be with my much beloved Mouse Spouse who has filled my world with love and support. Honestly, if I died tomorrow, I could say quite happily that I've lived a wonderful, rich life full of great family and friends and experienced what love is. Of course, I'm by no means ready to exit the universe, but I'd like people to know my feelings...so now YOU know. (Who the hell are YOU, tell me already??!)

Not sure if I'll be blogging from SA...but check back anyway...
Must dash now, my soup is getting cold and I need to finish it and my Trader Joes Quesidia (SP? - even answers.com doesn't give me an answer!) before I watch Fear Factor. Eating during that show is NOT recommended unless you enjoy throwing up.

Later!

SM

Baby 81 is indeed Abilass!

2005-02-14T10:30:00.000-05:00

This news just in:

KALMUNAI, Sri Lanka - DNA test results confirm that a baby boy rescued from tsunami debris in Sri Lanka and dubbed "Baby 81" belongs to the couple who launched a wrenching court battle for his custody, a court announced Monday.

I am so thrilled that the parent's terrible ordeal is over. Thank God for genetics! Now little Abilass can go home...although alas, home right now is a tent camp as his parents lost everything in the tsunami. But at least he will be with his true parents...what more could a baby need?

SM

The Amazing Florence

2005-02-12T11:48:00.000-05:00

Last night I watched a fascinating and inspiring documentary on HBO called "Rape in a Small Town: The Florence Holway Story" It tells the horrific story of Florence in 1991 at age 76, brutally raped in her bed in a rural New Hampshire farming community. I have never heard a rape victim speak so articulately and openly about her rape - that is amazing enough. But when the prosecutor offered the rapist a plea bargain, thus denying Florence of her day in court, this feisty woman took on the NH legislature, which lead to a change in the sentencing of rapists. Flo is now 89 - and though she says her peace of mind was shattered and destroyed the night of her rape, she still preserves her amazing humor and determination to fight injustice. What a woman! I'd like to meet her!

SM

Neurosis Setting In

2005-02-10T23:12:00.000-05:00

As our trip to SA nears (we leave Tuesday), my neurosis is steadily climbing! I am terrified of getting a cold between now and then, cos I couldn't fly if I'm sick! The weather is plummeting to freezing from tonite and many of my colleagues at work are sick/coughing. I wish they'd fucking stay home instead of infecting the rest of us! All day I was avoiding the sickos or talking to them at a distance. As a precaution and panacea to my neurosis, I am taking half an Airborne every morning from now on!

I just had to do two loads of laundry - summer and winter clothes - and some asshole left his clothes in the dryer and washing machine on our floor (there is one on every floor of our apartment building) all night! It really pisses me off! So I had to use the machines one floor below and shlep up and down the stairs. While all this was going on, I started packing. Yes I know it's 5 days in advance, but I like to be organized and ensure I arrive home with wonderfully creased clothes! So far the gifts are hogging most of the case and they're heavy (books, Super Scrabble - ah, the joys of having such intellectual family members) - hope I won't be overweight - SAA has a 70 pound limit. [I still think the weight of passengers should directly be factored into their baggage allowance. I weigh far less than the average passenger, so I should be allowed a larger baggage allowance! Why won't anyone listen to this logic?] The Mouse Spouse keeps telling me I should have mailed them....I keep telling him the SA Postal service sucks and they'd never arrive. Oh he has a lot to learn about the 3rd world.

Ok, gotta head downstairs again to get my second load.

SM

Game Time

2005-02-07T23:11:00.000-05:00

Who would ever believe it? I've become a football fan! With our Phila Eagles team making it to the Superbowl this year, I got totally wrapped up in all the pre-game hype. There I was in south Philly buying an Eagles sweatshirt and the Mouse Spouse went all out with Tshirt, hat and sweatshirt, and bought a Tshirt for me. Yesterday driving to the Mouse Spouse's sister before the game, we played "Spot the Eagle" - taking bets on how many items of Eagles paraphenalia we would spot en route. We both underestimated the huge outpouring of excitement - Eagles were everywhere - everyone we saw was wearing some attire, cars were decked out in flags, as were houses. We opted to stay home and watch the game as we couldn't face a party with 20 adults and 15 screaming kids. I made sure I painted my nails before the match so I couldn't bite them off.

As the game began, the Mouse Spouse promptly fell asleep on the couch. He may have done it on purpose to avoid my usual barrage of questions as I still don't really understand much of the game. I do however know what a touchdown is, and when TO grabbed the ball and made a run for it, I was jumping up and down and screaming, "Run!!!, Go!!!" The poor Mouse Spouse almost had a heart attack and jumped about a meter up in the air, yelling, "what ? what?" I had to calm him down, which I did, and back to sleep he went until the half time show when he got up to make us a heap of delish nachos.

The game was nailbiting (but my nails survived) to the finish and alas, at the end, the Eagles lost by 3 points. The end left me with a zillion questions - and I can't say I understand why they lost. But anyway... At that point, we turned off game coverage as we weren't keen to see the Patriots doing a victory jig. I went to sleep and the Mouse Spouse recommenced his avid delight for some aviator playstation game that gets on my tits because every few minutes the voice over says, "this is not a drill. I repeat, this is not a drill!" GRRRRR

I actually broke down and bought the Mouse Spouse a GameBoy Advantage for Valentines Day. I knew he wanted one - he is into games big time - and frankly, my decision was slightly selfish too. No, I am not a gamer, but I do know that a happy Mouse Spouse is an occupied Mouse Spouse and tomorrow a week, we have a 19 hour flight to South Africa. Now at least he can devote 8 hours to Gameboy, and we can both stay sane during the haul.

I am so excited for the trip, but nervy too. It's not that I'm afraid of plane crashes - I would assume it's either instant death or some terror followed by instant death, and death does not scare me at all. What I worry about is catching some airborne disease on board - so often I have gotten sick while on vacation to SA which I can safely attribute to the long flight. This time I have taken precautions. I bought Airborne and an anti-microbial mask. I tried the mask on and frankly I look more freakish than Michael Jackson - but heck, I'd rather look hideous and be healthy. A former airline stewardess who retired from the industry due to pesticide poisoning while flying for years, also advised me to rub olive oil inside my nostrils to keep them moist. Not sure I want to smell olive oil for 19 hours, but I may test it out before I fly.

Still have lots to do before we leave, but with one week to go, I'm already dreaming of Steers Steak Rolls, grapetizer, Rowntree fruit pastils, herring and kichel, biltong, brown bread, mom's cooking, Simba chips, toasted chicken mayo, Nandos...and of course, seeing my wonderful parents, brothers, other fam and my dear friend Crocodile. WOOHOO!!

SM

Going Home...

2005-01-29T11:10:00.000-05:00

Less than three weeks and the mouse spouse and I will be in sunny South Africa! To say I'm excited is an understatement. Of course, first I have to get through the 19 hours of hell plane flight - but at least the mouse spouse will be with me, in the past I've always flown alone.

I've been going a bit beserk shopping for the trip. I have my new red suitcase on the floor in my living room and it is piled high with all the gifts. The mouse spouse is growing considerably concerned that there will be no room for my clothes and stuff. He said I should ship the gifts via Fedex. Poor guy, he has no concept of the crappy SA postal service. I said, "uh, nope!"

In addition to shlepping to stores to find gifts (despite the freezing temps, I am a woman with a mission), I've spent hours online. I stumbled accross this cool T shirt site and found myself a gift - this awesome t shirt that says, "Skinny Bitch!" Gotta love it. Also bought a pair of pink sweatpants at Lord & Taylor yesterday for the flight -- I look decidedly plump in them, which believe it or not, is delightful to me. I have gained about 12 pounds since my family saw me last, and I can't wait for them to see the new me!

Maybe a T shirt saying "Ex-Skinny Bitch!" would have been more appropriate?

SM

A Foot of Snow and a Feat of T.O.

2005-01-24T22:17:00.000-05:00

Over the weekend we had a lovely storm in Philly - over a foot of snow. I love staring out the window at the falling snow - it's so beautiful, but when you have to trek through it to get to work, well, that ain't so fun. The snowplow folks really didn't do a very good job, I found myself stumbling through thick snow on the way home plus it was snowing again. I got home covered in flakes, damp and out of breath. I flung off my wet clothes and dived under my feather comforter and fell into a blissful sleep. Ah....

So despite the snow, Philadelphians are euphoric. Yesterday the Eagles beat the Falcons to make it to the Superbowl. First time in over 20 years. The fans went beserk - they really are an interesting breed. Though I am not into football and do not understand the intricasies of the game (despite the Mouse Spouse's valiant attempts at answering my questions) - I did watch the game and found myself cheering them on and cursing the falcons in unison with the Mouse Spouse.

According to some twit in Britain, today, Jan 24 is officially the Most Depressing Day of the Year.
"His equation takes several factors into account: they include the worst weather ... Christmas debts, and how long it takes before you quit those New Year's resolutions!"
What a load of hogwash - to think some idiot in England is being paid to write this crap.

SM

Oh the irony!

2005-01-18T19:28:00.000-05:00

This is the headline on CNN.com:

Bush: Better human intelligence needed
Underneath the headline is a photo of Bush with a stupid grin on his face.

Yes Georgie boy, we need better human intelligence. Especially in the Oval Office!

SM

Beyond MLK

2005-01-17T21:11:00.000-05:00

Today is Martin Luther King Day in America. In celebration of this day, I attended a program at the local Y during which a fascinating documentary called "Standing on My Sisters' Shoulders" was shown that told the firsthand stories of the Mississippi women who risked their lives in the fight for Civil Rights and emerged as heroines.

So often it is only one person, MLK here for example, who one remembers as the champion of freedom, but in this movie, I got to learn about amazing women, both black and white, who fought the establishment. Remarkable women such as Fannie Lou Hamer, Annie Devine, Unita Blackwell, Mae Bertha Carter, and Victoria Gray Adams. Simple, uneducated women - some sharecroppers for generations - who overcame amazing odds: "This is their story of commitment, bravery and leadership in the face of a hostile and violent segregated society".

Of course this movie had great resonance for me. This is American history from 50+ years ago, but the same story played out in South Africa in the very recent past. A similar struggle, the same dangers faced, and freedoms finally won. As in the USA, Mandela was just one man who fought the establishment, he is the name we associate with the struggle against Apartheid. However, there are countless other brave souls who risked their lives or lost them, but like this women, we seldom learn their names.

You can find out more about the movie here.

SM

What the ??!!!

2005-01-16T23:42:00.000-05:00

I thought I'd finished blogging for tonight, but I have just seen this hideous headline on CNN.com:

Report: U.S. planning possible attack on Iran

Excuse me?

"The Bush administration has been carrying out secret reconnaissance missions to learn about nuclear, chemical and missile sites in Iran in preparation for possible airstrikes there, journalist Seymour Hersh said Sunday." (Full article)

I'm all for preventing nuclear war, BUT...shouldn't we first try to recover from the embarracement/disgrace/crime of attacking Iraq on the rumor of their WMD (which were NEVER found) before we start moving in on Iran on the same fucking rumor!

I can't stand it.

On Thursday is Bush's second inauguration (at the lovely cost to American taxpayers of $4 million by the way). Another four years. How many more pointless wars in search of non-existant threats?

Stop the world, I want to get off.

SM

Hounds, Housewives, Hollywood and Hurrahs

2005-01-16T23:21:00.000-05:00

I have traded my throbbing toe (now recovered) with a tired index finger from operating my tv remote control tonite. For weeks there has been fuck all to watch on Sundays, but tonight of course the Golden Globe Awards, Desperate Housewives and the Eukanuba Dog Championship were all on at the same time. Plus, this is my ultimate bitch, all the ad breaks were in perfect sinc so every ten minutes all three channels went into ad breaks! Oh Why!

In the end, it was a most unsatisfactory evening of couch potatoing as I never really got into watching anything. Golden Globes were rather a yawn save for Robin Williams being honored and Jamie Fox's victory speech for best actor for movie Ray. Desperate Housewives - what I saw of it - was hilarious as usual, totally addictive. Highlight when bitch Edie upon finding out that her neighbor had accidently burnt down her house, flung her other neighbors remains (ashes) in her face! And as for the doggies, absolutely charming! Especially the terriers for whom I have a very soft spot. The winning dog was this humungous, weird looking bloodhound. A face only a breeder could love?

Besides all the channel surfing, my index finger is also aching because (shhh, I'm not meant to tell) I very stupidly accepted an invite from the Nielson TV rating company to join their 'family'. This means they came and wired up my TV, VCR and cable box and now whatever I watch is monitored and featured in those polls you read about saying x million viewers watched the Golden Globes. Aren't I special? The bloody irritating part of being part of the Nielson family is that it comes with a second remote control and every time you switch channels, you have to hit this stupid OK button or else this red light starts flashing. Of course, this wasn't explained when I joined up...did I mention how fucking irritating it is? A two year ordeal I volunteered for. I need my head read.

And finally, Thank God, tomorrow is not a day of mourning in Philadelphia because our (well, not mine) beloved Eagles football team trounced the Minnesota Vikings today in the NFL play offs, so next Sunday we play Atlanta, and if we miraculously beat them (this is the 4th time in a row the Eagles have reached this point), we will end up in the Superbowl final. Of course I don't give a crap about football, don't understand or appreciate the game (observing men in shoulder pads is just not a turn on for me, unlike perving at Brazilian/Italian soccer players). The Mouse Spouse left me this afternoon to go watch the game with his pals, and frankly, it was a relief to not have to hear or see the game. But I am pleased they won, it's good to see Philadelphians looking happy....

SM

Of Throbbing Toes and Worthwhile Endeavors

2005-01-15T20:50:00.000-05:00

I was awakened this morning at 4am with a throbbing toe. My own fault of course. I have this horrid penchant for picking off my toe nails. I confess, I really really enjoy the exercise, bizarre as that may sound. I used to bite my finger nails, but managed to give that up, but that just exacerbated my relish for peeling off my toe nails. Sometimes I go too far, plucking out the cuticle...and that my friends inevitably leads to the throbbing toe. At 4am I hunted around for some advil but could find none, so I grabbed some ice, put it in a zip loc and stuck it around my toe. Ow, that just made it worse. So I tossed and turned cursing my stupid habit until it was time to wake up at 8am.

I NEVER get up early on weekends, but today I had decided to take advantage of a free home-buyers/morgage/credit seminar that was being run by Senator Kitchen at Temple U. I pay an exhorbitant amount of rent ($1000/mth + parking) and would really like to think of buying a home in the next year or two, but despite having a law degree, I know fuck-all about how to go about buying a house. By all accounts, it sounds like a nightmare.

So with my faithful friend Veronica, we shlepped to Temple in the freezing cold. Neither of us was very optimistic about the seminar - we suspected since it free, 5 hours and included lunch, that it may be a marketing ploy by morgage related vendors. Much to our surprise, it was not. Despite the less than rivetting subject matter - the speakers were awesome, animated and very engaging. The turn out, which was predominantly African American, was very good and the crowd reacted at times like we were in a gospel church service - Amen's ringing out, or yeah sister etc. Thoroughly entertaining.

What can I say? I learnt a heck of a lot. I got a lot of my credit questions answered. It was a most worthwhile 5 hours. Our next step is to take advantage of free home buying classes offered by many different banks/organizations. My only regret: that the Mouse Spouse did not attend. With his credit woes, he really could have gained some insights. Oh well - looks like these sorts of things - financial responsibilities - are going to settle on my shoulders in our future together. I don't really mind, I like to manage money and come from a long line of women married to men who relinquished this role, happily, to their wives.

SM

A Letter to Mr. Le

2005-01-05T23:31:00.000-05:00

I have just done a rather unusual thing. I have written a short thank you letter to a man I don't know who owns a wireless and fishing supply store in Camden, New Jersey.

This 28 year old man, Ngoc Le, shot a would be armed robber who grabbed his wife at knife point in their store. Mr Le produced his pistol, ordered the man to release his wife, and shot him in the head, dead, when he refused. In the last few months, three young Camden women were brutally raped at knife point in Camden, so police, recognizing a similar pattern, tested the dead robber's DNA against the DNA of the serial rapist. Results today showed a perfect match - Mr. Le not only valiantly protected his wife from harm, he killed a serial rapist, thereby protecting the lives of many women!

BRAVO Mr. Le! We need more brave men like you who do not surrender to criminals, but confront and kill the bastards. I was so overjoyed at the news that a serial rapist is off the streets for good, that I penned a grateful thank you letter to Mr. Le. The man should get a medal and the reward offered leading to the arrest of the serial rapist!

SM

Your Generosity is Overwhelming Mr President

2005-01-05T19:25:00.000-05:00

WASHINGTON - President Bush who has pledged $350 million in U.S. aid to help victims of Asian countries ravaged by the tsunami, has contributed $10,000 from his personal funds to the relief effort, his spokesman said Wednesday.

How bloody frigging generous of Mr. Bush. A whole $10,000 for the tsunami tragedy!

According to Slate magazine, Bush has a net worth of around $9 million to $26 million (Source: http://ask.yahoo.com/ask/20040823.html).

Once again we have evidence of what a jerk our President really is. He probably spends $10,000 a day on chewing tobacco, beer, enemas and elocution lessons.

SM

Mirth amidst the horror

2005-01-04T22:07:00.000-05:00

I have read and watched so much media on the horrific tsunami tragedy. I have cried over survivor stories and pictures of dead children. Tonight in my warm bath I read Newsweeek from cover to cover - most of the magazine devoted to the disaster. And at work, I eagerly monitor our online donations to the JDC's Tsunami Relief Fund. (So far we have collected over $7,000).

Tonight, in my normal hunger to read news, I came upon a story in the Jerusalem Post about Haredi (Ultra Orthodox) Israelis from Zaka (Disaster Victims Identification), who have been in Thailand helping to identify dead Israelis, Jews and other victims. Despite the harrowing first person account on life on the ground in Thailand, I found myself giggling at the following quote from Zaka Chief Yehuda Meshi-Zahav:

"The Thais don't cry. Because of their religion, they seem to have a different view of death. They believe in fate. I know they worship Buddha, so they're idol worshippers, but they are very pleasant."

Very pleasant despite bowing to fat statues? Just the way he put it made me laugh. It was a relief to laugh, given the horrible descriptions of death in the rest of the article.

SM

Hello 2005

2004-12-31T16:42:00.000-05:00

I can't say I'm much in the mood for wild new year celebrations - the scale of the horror in SE Asia just won't leave me. I fail to understand how people in countries as close as Japan, China etc are having huge celebrations when the misery and devastation is on their doorsteps. Instead of multi-million dollar fireworks displays, I feel that money would have been better used helping the tsunami victims. Yes you'll say, lighten up Scarlet, millions are going to SE Asia, let the world relax and get high on booze and fireworks. Well, ok.

When I look back on 2004, it's all a blur. I barely remember what I did or what happened. Life was gloriously uneventful, just the way I like it. No huge upheavals or losses. Just same job, same boyfriend, same abode, same city etc...fine by me. I wonder what lies ahead? More tsunamis and natural disasters? more terrorism? losses? God I sound so fucking pessimistic. Lighten up girl! Maybe 2005 will bring engagements, family and friend reunions, world peace, cures for the world's ills and a brain transplant for Bush?

The new year does bring something huge to look forward to. In 6 weeks the mouse spouse and moi travel home to South Africa to "meet the parents". I am so excited to go home again, two years is just way too long to go without seeing and hugging ones parents and brothers. We also look forward to going to the Kruger National Park and elsewhere. Woohoo.

SM

PS. It is now 2 hours later and I just watched the latest news on CNN. It seems many countries have indeed cancelled their new years celebrations (e.g. France, Sweden, Norway) or those that are celebrating, are turning the celebrations into telethons to raise money for the tsunami victims. I underestimated the goodness in the world.

Mother of all Terrorists

2004-12-28T21:35:00.000-05:00

definition of terrorism:
The unlawful use or threatened use of force or violence by a person or an organized group against people or property with the intention of intimidating or coercing societies or governments, often for ideological or political reasons.

The horror and devastation in SE Asia had me thinking today. Could Mother Nature be the 'Mother' of all terrorists? Compare the sights of destruction and death on Sri Lanka, Phuket, Southern India -- does it not look like the aftermath of a huge explosion? 2,000 souls died on 9/11/2001. The death toll from the tsumamis is 50,000+ and still growing. Like terror, nature can be ruthless, and indiscriminate. The majority of the tsunami victims are children. Little innocent kids swept away into the vast open sea, swallowed up and then heaved back onto the wet remains of the beach.

I guess I am just struggling to come to terms with the scale of this tragedy. I'm clutching at straws in a vain attempt to understand how this could happen. I imagine myself lying on that paradisical beach in Phuket. I would be lazing in the sun reading a book. I hear a weird noise. I look up - a huge wall of water is surging towards me. I am numb with awe, fear and horror. I am swept up in this awesome, violent monster and swept out to sea along with crushed beach umbrellas, loungers, bathers, fallen trees, and hundreds of other doomed souls...

SM

Courting Disaster...

2004-12-23T22:05:00.000-05:00

Just my frigging luck. Some idiot reversed into my parked car tonight! Weirdly, the Mouse Spouse was just arriving to visit me when he saw this asshole reverse at a ridiculous speed straight into the side of my car. He didn't realize at first it was my car - but observed the asshole get out of his car, see the damage and drive off.

UPDATE: As I'm writing this, the Mouse Spouse calls from downstairs (he had to go back to work) to say he's spotted the car and the people are inside. I grab my keys and sprint outside - never mind that I am bra-less and in PJ's. I approach the car and launch into my attack. I was pissed - I have no respect for assholes who damage other people's cars and drive off. There was no denying we had our asshole - my paint was all over his bumper. He didn't deny it either - just made feeble excuses that he only saw damage to his car, and therefore drove off. Yeah right prick, paint tranfers from car A to car B leaving no damage on car A. I don't think so. I got his details while his girlfriend nervously looked on - he (Luke) is from Lancaster, she lives in my complex.

Funny that this would happen today of all days. I spent the afternoon filing my claim in the Small Claims Court against Ken the asshole tree cutting service who chopped down trees over my parked car, scratching the paint. The atmosphere was most festive in the municiple court building, and filing my claim was easy and painless. The hearing is set for Feb 9 - and frankly, I'm looking forward to it. And hear this Lancaster Luke - if you fail to pay for the repairs to my car, you too will have your day in court.

Too many assholes in this world. I will not suffer assholes, idiots or cretins. They will all pay for their afflictions. One way or another.

SM

Home is where the heart will always be

2004-12-19T01:28:00.000-05:00

Oh how it warms the soul to be near people who not only grew up in your hometown, but speak the way you do.

Last night the Mouse Spouse and I headed to the only family I have in the USA, my third cousins Rob and Cy (and Rob's bro Bram and his family). Once upon a time we all lived happily in South Africa, but then in 1995 I immigrated to Israel, and Rob, Cy and their two young kids immigrated to Philadelphia. So in many ways, we experienced parellel trauma, albeit in different countries. When I moved to the USA in July 2001, I never dreamed I would end up living in the same city as my dear cousins. When I couldn't find work in Florida, I came up to Philly to visit my family, and by some miracle landed my job here. And that dear readers, is how I wound up in the city of brotherly love, home of the Eagles, Mayor Street and the vomitous cheesesteak.

So last night, being amongst South AFrican family and their South African friends, was pure bliss. For once, the Mouse Spouse was the only American amongst a crowd of 7 South African transplants. It was such fun sharing stories of home and experiences unique to us South Africans living in the USA. One guest was a sprightly 93 year old woman Lily - amazing lady, mobile, with it and witty. She related a story of her first bus trip in Philadelphia at age 85. She was talking to the bus driver, and when she told him she was from South Africa, he bellowed, "GET OUT OF HERE!". Poor Lily was not familiar with this American slang and was shaken to her osteoporitic bones in shock, thinking that the driver had demanded she get off the bus!

This and other hilarious stories dating back from the men's army stories, language/accent misunderstandings etc culminated in the most enjoyable evening. It was a good practice session for the Mouse Spouse who will be journeying with me to South Africa in mid-Feb to finally meet the parents and brothers...poor sod...he doesn't know what he is in for...

SM

The Secret Revealed

2004-12-06T22:44:00.000-05:00

I found out today why I am skinny: "People who put on a few extra pounds may be able to blame a lack of sleep for the added weight, according to two separate studies published Monday." It seems people who don't sleep enough have raised levels of hormones linked with appetite and eating behavior. So inversely, people who sleep a lot, are underweight?

If it's one thing I love, one thing I totally excell at - it is sleeping! I eagerly look forward to climbing into bed at night, it's almost as wonderous as popping a new movie into the VCR. You see, thanks to my sleeping/breathing aid called a bipap (I have weakish lungs...long story), I always sleep like a log on valium, and I have the most unbelievably fascinating dreams, dreams which I recall in vibrant detail upon waking.

Weekend mornings go something like this: Scarlet wakes up, and breaks into a giggle as she reviews her dreams. She then nudges the Mouse Spouse (who is not a good sleeper at all!), and thus proceeds to relate said dreams to the somnolent lover. Within about 2 minutes, both of us are laughing and the Mouse Spouse is shaking his head against his feather pillow in a state of wonder at my insane dreams. I think, not so secretly, he suspects I am nuts. Either that or sleeping the way I do with air forced into my lungs must somehow stimulate my brain in such a way that I have crazed dreams. The latter is the Mouse Spouse's theory. He thinks I should write them down and publish them in a book. To which I retort: who the hell would want to read my dreams?

Either way, I don't care why I dream the way I do, all I know is, going to sleep at night is a never ending adventure. Certainly, some dreams are so intense and bizarre that I wake up exhausted, but in the main, they are glorious noctural meanderings...

SM

Live from Puketown, PA

2004-12-02T22:36:00.000-05:00

More revolting evidence of this hideous false morality permeating Bush's America. Today in some obscure little bastion of homophobia and ignorance called Pughtown, "A jury made up of United Methodist Church clergy convicted a lesbian minister Thursday of violating church law by openly living with her partner in a committed relationship." Yeah, why doesn't the church just burn the woman at the stake for living in a committed relationship and let all those lovely paedophile priests hold high positions in the church and continue to run kiddie camps, alter boy trainings and the like? I can't suffer hypocrites at the best of times, but when it permeates religion it makes me sick and livid.

Speaking of livid, last week I parked my car a block away from work, and some retard, idiot tree cutting service decided to chop down trees over my car! The result: a very scratched up paint job. Luckily I caught the idiots in the act and found out the name of the co. Now the boss Ken is ignoring my calls. He generously offered to pay up to $50 to correct the damage, but hear this Ken, it's going to cost you $267 you bastard - I have the quote to prove it. Of course, now Ken has gone underground and has his voicemail on 24/7. I think this may just be my first foray into the American legal system - small claims court here I come! Finally, I might get to use a bit of my legal training. Maybe not. Ken, be afraid. Be very afraid - the ScarletMouse is coming after you!

Tomorrow is my big day - I get to present our new Jewish Community Web Site of Greater Philadelphia (my creation) to all my colleagues as they munch on Trader Joes (Kosher) cheesecake shlepped by yours truly today in order to create a festive atmosphere at the launch party (or perhaps to distract them from my presentation - which I have not given a second's thought to...eek). Wish me luck.

Shit, tomorrow is Friday. Yeah, I hate weekends. No, just kidding. I have come to dread Fridays because it is my weekly Scarlet's Web column deadline. I have no clue what I'm going to base this week's article on...anyone got a fascinating web site to suggest? HELP.

I discovered a wonderfully entertaining blog tonight called Bad Mother and found myself laughing out loud reading at the writer's witty observations. Check it out.

SM

Let him go peacefully into the night...

2004-12-01T23:35:00.000-05:00

When I lived in Israel from 1995-2001 - I attended ulpan Etzion in my first 5 months in the country. On my ulpan there was only one Swiss national by the name of Yona Malina. He spoke many languages, was very intelligent and an all-round lovely guy.

In early 1996, while on a bus heading to Hebrew University, a Palestinian suicide terrorist exploded himself on the bus, killing many and leaving Yona a paraplegic. I'll never forget the shock of it, of imagining Yona all broken and hurt. Many of my friends visited him in hospital and afterwards, but call me a coward, I just couldn't face seeing him that way. He was not a good friend of mine, but still, I should have gone. I should have let him know I cared and thought of him.

Since that fateful day, much has happened in Yona's life. While still in a coma, his family took him back to Switzerland. When he awoke he was outraged and demanded to go back. Yona only discovered he was Jewish when he was around 18 years old - his parents, both Holocaust survivors chose to repress their identity and keep it from their kids. Yona was passionate about Israel and his newfound identity.

When he returned to Israel, he petitioned the courts to have the government pay for him to live "independently" i.e. not in an institution. He won the case - resulting in a 200,000 NIS cost for his care per month.

This week, Yona is back in the news. This time, he "petitioned the Israeli courts to allow his doctors to disconnect him from the life support system he has been forced to depend on for almost a decade since the attack. According to Ha’aretz, Malina was paralyzed in the attack and can't even breathe on his own. Doctors who treated him said he had little chance of surviving for more than a year."

I hope and pray that the courts grant him his wish. I suspect, however, given the strong prevailing ethos in Israel of the "sanctity of life" that they will not honor his request. I believe strongly in an individual's right to determine his/her own fate. Yona has lived his terrible predicament with fortitude, strength and tenacity -- but no human being should be expected to continue fighting under these horrendous circumstances.

God bless you Yona. May your suffering be at an end soon.

SM

2/12 Update: I believe Yona withdrew his case today though I cannot find any articles to substantiate this...

An Overdue Purchase

2004-11-28T13:26:00.000-05:00

I know it's going to be hard for you to believe this. But at age 35, I have never owned let alone ever used a vacuum cleaner. Of course I grew up in SA where you have servants to do the cleaning, laundry etc...Then I moved to Israel where most apartments do not have carpets - mine didn't - so hence, no need for a vaccuum cleaner. All you need is the classic Israeli "sponga" - which is a pole with a T bar on the end over which you drape a "shmutter" rag that you use to clean the floor.

But here in Philadelphia, I have carpets throughout my one bedroom (except for bathroom and kitchen). When I moved in, I did buy a small second hand "vaccuum" but it was pretty useless for the most part and failed to suck up anything. I also bought a hand vacuum which I used to pick up bread crumbs etc from furniture and on occasion, did go down on hands and knees to use it on the carpets. (And lest you think I am a dirty pig - I usually hire a cleaning service once a month...so it's not like my carpets have not been vaccuumed in two years!)

Yesterday, growing tired on having dusty carpets laden with my hair and that of the Mouse Spouse (I have long red hair and he has lots of black curly hair) - I finally bought a power vaccuum cleaner! The Mouse Spouse came along to not only witness this event (I'd been threatening to buy one for a year or more) but to help me carry it. Once at home, we unpacked it, he assembled it and I immediately set about vaccuuming the apartment. What a thrill! I never knew housework could be this exciting!

SM

I'll never get it!

2004-11-23T22:33:00.000-05:00

This is the time of year, when I long to be living in Israel again. No Xmas ads. Oh, how blissful it is to live in a country where come December, you don't even know it's HO HO HO time! If the November election ads were not irritating enough, I now have to endure the pathetic Xmas/seasonal ads replete with shmaltzy sentimental crap and manipulative manoevering to get people to go further into debt in order to go overboard with their Xmas shopping. Makes me sick.

The day after Thanksgiving (this Thursday) is called Black Friday - because apparently it helps stores get out of the red by offering crazy sales. There are many mentally imbalanced (I can't see any other reason for this idiocy) Americans who wake up at 4:00 am to take advantage of this special sale day. Personally, I can think of NOTHING worse than getting up at some god forsaken hour to drive to a mall a-throng with eager, insane shoppers. What is wrong with people? I wish American's put the same amount of energy that they put into shopping into things that really count.

Tomorrow is my personal D-Day - the launch of the Jewish Community Web site of Greater Philadelphia -- a site I have single-handedly put together over the last 3 months. I am quite chuffed with the result -- ever since I got the job in Phila I have been itching to overhaul this web site! You are formally invited to check it out at www.JewishPhilly.org -- it should be live sometime tomorrow.

And finally, I have finally, after 3 long years, discovered an American chocolate I actually LOVE. I mean I like Snickers too, but I really LOVE Goobers - nestle chocolate covered peanuts - discovered purely by chance when the Mouse Spouse brought over a box the other night. Only downside - peanuts lead to farting - but heck, it's a small price to pay!

SM

The Best Little Whorehouse in Philly!

2004-11-19T23:34:00.000-05:00

Who would have ever imagined that just one floor above me was a fully operational high class whorehouse? So there I was, recovering from a Judge Judy induced fit of laughter, when the 6 o' clock news comes on with the Big Breaking News story that police have broken up a high class callgirl ring in MY fucking building! Of course, being the naturally curious newshound, I grabbed my keys and raced downstairs to see what was going on. In the lobby was the usual geriatric "guard" and outside the only thing out of the ordinary were two Channel 6 TV trucks. Oh the disappointment!

Anyway, you can read the full story here. What I find tres amusing is the report that cites us an "upscale" building. Please! Rents may be overpriced, but this place is not much better than a shithole - lots of roaches, blocked drains, awful plumbing and unhelpful management. I live here for convenience more than anything else...I don't plan to renew my lease in July.

The second hilarious part of the report is a quote by one of our residents: "There are a lot of senior citizens here who rely on being safe in this area that's why they live here." Can someone explain why having a little whorehouse in the building creates danger to our alta kakas? Do squeaking mattress coils interfere with their pacemakers?

What did upset me greatly was the fact that the whorehouse has a Web site! To think I could have had a good gig right in my own building maintaining their site! Damn!

SM

Scarlet's Web

2004-11-18T23:44:00.000-05:00

Very excited to report that I now have a weekly newspaper column called "Scarlet's Web" - in which I share exciting online resources with the masses. I'm hoping that this becomes so popular that someone somewhere will be impressed and offer me more writing gigs... I can dream can't I?

Interesting dilemma at work today. I work for a Jewish organization - I'm the manager of electronic communications which includes all web management. On Wednesday the new Jewish Community Web site of Greater Philadelphia is launching - a site I have single-handedly built over the last 2,5 months. Everyone I've shown it to at work is very impressed, so it's been very gratifying. Part of the launch is a click and win giveaway - and part of the main prize in addition to a night at the Loews Hotel is dinner at the Sansom Street Oyster Bar! Some folks at work took exception to this...an interesting conundrum -- should a Jewish web site promote non Kosher establishments? Given that the vast majority of Phila Jews are not Kosher....hmmm. Anyway, for now the traif stands as we can't let these generous sponsors down! I was going to suggest that I just keep the free traif meals....now that I could live with (not that I eat oysters. Yuck. Slimy shit. My dad once nearly choked to death on one!) .

I still can't get over that Mrs Hasan, an Iraqui-Brit was brutally murdered by her captors. Here is a woman who devoted her life to the welfare of the most needy Iraquis -- it is just an outrage! How do these fuckwits live with themselves?

SM

Ding Dong the Dog is Dead

2004-11-14T20:35:00.000-05:00

Well, I almost got it right. A couple of hours after wagering that Arafat would die the next day, his death was announced on TV. That night I had the weirdest, disturbing dream that I had been possessed by him via my computer keyboard. I woke up at 3am in a total sweat. I always have the strangest and most vivid dreams, and I remember them always in minute detail.

Watching the frigging French give Arafat a stately send off to Cairo further consolidated my disgust for that nation. Here was a "man", who had ordered and planned a multitude of terror attacks, and he was treated like a fucking benign Prince of the Palestinian People. Far more appropirate I thought, was his Ramallah burial amongs the chaos of his followers, who were revealed for what they are, a group of savage miscreants of which Arafat was supreme Leader. And then today, further evidence of the wonderful Palestinian people -- the attempted assassination, at Arafat's burial site, of Prime Minister Abbas amid cries of his being an agent of the Americans.

Yesterday I celebrated my new figure with a little shopping spree downtown. I went up two whole sizes - barely fitted into the largest size kid's clothing! Other good news of the day in addition to my many purchases, was that I finally qualified for store buying cards after numerous rejections for lack of credit worthiness.

Finally, the funniest blog I've ever read -- The President's Blog -- a most hilarious Bush spoof, very well worth a read. You may want to sit on a towel though, you may just piss yourself.

Speaking of the President -- it seems I may now have a shot at election to that supreme position. According to Article 2, Section 1, Clause 5 of the United States Constitution "no Person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President." However, due to the popularity of Mr Shwarzenegger, a movement is afoot to repeal that article, making foreign born Americans eligible for the Presidency!

SM

When in America...

2004-11-10T21:09:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I had my bi-annual physical check up, and much to my delight and glee, the scale showed a weight gain of EIGHT pounds! This dear friends, is somewhat of a miracle as I have been skinny all my life - a veritable human toothpick - I'd all but given up of ever gaining much weight. But here you have it. Evidence that if you live long enough in the United States of (Obese) America, you very slowly start to follow the natural trend. I doubt I will ever be plump, fat or obese (and thank the lord for that, 'cos at 4"11 that would be pretty gross) - but the possibility of one day reaching 100 pounds or going up from a size zero petite slim to a petite ONE, well, it's too fabulous to contemplate. Woohoo.

On a completely different tangent, I can't get the murder of a young woman in broad daylight on South Street on Sunday by a crazed baseball bat wielding acquaintance, out of my mind. What goes through a person's mind as you attack a woman with a bat in broad daylight in front of tens of witnesses (who did not intervene I might add)? I always feel that I am so safe here in Philly as apposed to the hideous crime in Johannesburg (home) or political violence in Israel (second home) - and yet it's really not true by any means. Every day people get murdered here, hit by random bullets or raped. I have always struggled to understand how one person can do this to another. I'll never fucking get it.

Anyone willing to take a wager? I bet tomorrow Arafat will "officially" be declared dead eventhough I would swear on my dead dog's life that he has been dead for days. His funeral has been planned for Friday -- is it just me or is that odd if we are to believe the reports that he is alive and unwell? And the other question is, will the glam absentee wife Suha accompany her dead husband to Cairo and then to Ramallah - or will she stay behind in Paris decked in a Gucci black suit sipping coffee on the Champs D'Elysees?

SM

Comedy Month

2004-11-07T13:14:00.000-05:00

After Bush's election truimph, it is only fitting that November be dedicated to cheering ourselves up, lifting ourselves out of the doldrums and trying to inject some humor into our doomed lives.

So last night, the Mouse Spouse and I, trekked off to the Tower Theater in Upper Darby (read shithole) to see the one and only George Carlin live. George is the Mouse Spouse's idol because they share the same opinions about a lot of stuff such as all people are idiots, Americans are dumb fucks, etc... "When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat."

I wasn't that familiar with his schtick, but man, it was a great concert. His trademark is his negative view of the world and the whacky ideas he contemplates such as how did the first enema come about? He talked a lot about suicide and how Fox should create a Suicide Channel that shows people offing themselves 24/7 - that Americans are dumb enough to participate and even dumb enough to watch. And for the sweeps month, they could do a mass suicide, have a group of people jumping off the Grand Canyon. He hates the idiocy of America, he hates most people and roots for nature - glorifies in mass disasters that kill loads of people. Shit he was funny.

On Nov. 20, we are going to see one of my fave comedians, Jackie Mason - I saw him in NYC a few years ago, and I almost suffered a hernia from laughing so much...

And in other news, Arafat continues to live. Maybe Satan in Hell doesn't even want him!

SM

Dead or Alive?

2004-11-04T22:44:00.000-05:00

At noon today I received an instant message from my pal H in Israel reading, "Arafat is Dead!" I jumped up from my seat and shouted the news to the rest of my department. Had I known how to ululate, I would have. The Monte Carlo news in France had reported that Arafat was clinically dead, but later, the French hospital announced categorically that he was still alive. Alive or dead, who gives a flying f*ck - he ain't recovering anytime soon. Interestingly, in this week's torah portion, Ishmael - Abraham's muslim son dies....

Today is the anniversary of Yitzchak Rabin's assassination. I'll never forget that night in Jerusalem when the movie I was watching (Crocodile Dundee 2) was interrupted with the news that he had been shot. An hour later, he was dead and disbelief and horror swept across the country...no-one expected the assassin to be a Jew.

Two days after the election, funny cartoons/images etc are springing up all over the web. These are two of my favorites:

SM

The Day After

2004-11-03T23:28:00.000-05:00

Sadly, at 11:02am John Kerry conceded to smirking, victorious Georgie Bush. I have a new work computer as my former one crashed and died a horrible death, and thankfully, the new one has no sound card so I was not even tempted to tune in to Bush's acceptance speech. I did read Kerry's however, and it brought tears to my eyes...

My friend Danny who is an American-Israeli living in Jerusalem, IM'ed me to rejoice over Bush's win. I asked how he could believe in such a twit, and his reply was that Bush is good for Israel. Bull I retorted, Kerry and Bush are equally pro Israel, to which Danny replied, "ah, but we know Bush is a friend, Kerry is untested." I think he is being short-sighted - but I wasn't in the mood to debate with him!

Anyway, enough about politics. I want to share with you a very strange thing that is happening to me. I am gaining weight! None of my winter trousers fit me, I can't do up the zipper let alone close the buttons! To most of you folks around the world, this is not a new experience, and not one that would fill you with glee. But for me, a self-confessed human toothpick, the thrill of not being able to close my trousers is indescribable! Could I be evolving into a human chopstick (that being slightly broader than a toothpick?). I live in hope! I have my annual med check up on Monday and I can't wait to get weighed!!

Speaking of medical issues - it's a pretty sad state of affairs when flu vaccines are dispensed via a lottery!
"The flu vaccine shortage continues to prompt drastic measures. In Mercer County, several hundred people took a gamble on winning a flu shots lottery. It had the feel of a bingo game--but the prize in this lottery was a chance to get one of Hamilton Township's remaining flu shots. 2500 residents who qualify as high risk or chronically ill registered."
It is just sickening that ill, elderly people are being deprived of this vital, and possibly life-saving vaccine. It just ain't right, simple as that.

Onto happier matters...Two excellent pieces of news: Firstly, my "alien view of the voting process in the USA" was published in the Daily News Op Ed section today! I am so thrilled!
Secondly, Arafat is back in intensive care. Could the end be nigh?

SM

A Grim Finish

2004-11-03T01:00:00.000-05:00

It's 1:00am and it looks like Ohio is going to go to fuckwit Bush. I can't take any more of this, so I'm going to sleep. Kerry looks like he is finished. What a bleak day for America.

God help us! What have we done to deserve 4 more years of Bush?

SM

F*%$#@ Florida!

2004-11-02T23:53:00.000-05:00

This is getting horribly grim. Many stations (at 11:53) are projecting a win for Bush in FL. That's 27 more electoral votes for Bush! Some stations are also saying this means if Kerry doesn't take Ohio, he cannot win, he can at best tie.

My optimism is slowly starting to wane and I'm starting to have this loathsome feeling that we will be subjected to a smirking Bush victory speech in the next few hours. I will not watch that gloating exhibition, and I will wear black from head to toe tomorrow to express my outrage and disappointment.

SM

Woohoo for PA!

2004-11-02T23:01:00.000-05:00

11:01 PM Kerry just took my dear state of Pennsylvania! Hallelujah - this is wonderful news, PA was a very important battleground state!
Kerry now at 188! Wow, I'm feeling a lot better! Smirk gone from your face Prez Bush??

SM

Put me out of my misery!

2004-11-02T22:53:00.000-05:00

Ok, I can't take the suspense. It is 10.53PM and so far Bush has won way too many electoral votes - 193 to Kerry's 114. I know the key states haven't weighed in yet, but it's still completely nerve-wracking to see him ahead. I can't take it. To ease my nerves, I'm forcing myself to watch The Daily Show's election coverage rather than CNN for a while.

Reports are saying that absentee ballots in FL may take days to count. Always frigging Florida mucking up the election! Why do they need more time? Do they have senile alta kakas counting the votes?

Anyway, going to retire to the couch for a while to enjoy my cheese hoagie from WaWa that I bought earlier in full expectation of getting hungry in the wee hours....

GO KERRY!!!

SM

Let the race begin!

2004-11-01T22:11:00.000-05:00

We are hours away from the presidential election. Already there are reports of voter fraud here in PA - not sure how that can be since polling stations haven't opened yet. Whatever. The various pollsters are saying that it is going to be a very close race - I just hope the candidate who looks more like a horse wins! Heh heh.

At around 7PM my phone rang. I thought it was the Mouse Spouse, but instead I hear this: "Hello, this is Bill Clinton speaking" - for a second my heart skipped a beat, then I started giggling at the idiocy of his recorded message. I hung up on the former President.

I received an email from Capitol One today to remind me that my bill was now viewable online. The email proclaimed in bold, "Now you can pay your bill for free!" Is it just me or is that a ludicrous statement?

And finally, I leave you with my dream scenario as I awake from my slumber on Wednesday morning. I would like to turn on the TV and hear Wolf Blitzer say, "In today's headlines: Senator John Kerry wins a landslide victory; Former President George W Bush joins the circus; and Yassir Arafat dies in Paris.

SM

Ah Gorgeous Fall

2004-10-31T13:43:00.000-05:00

Today is a really beautiful fall day. It's sunny and warm, and the trees are magnificent shades of orange, yellow and red. It is enough to take my breath away. Such beauty.

Uncharacteristically, the Mouse Spouse and I set out rather early today (11:00am) for a walk along the parkway and up the Art Museum steps. Hundreds of energetic people were out and about due to a diabetes walk. Every week there is a different walk against some horrid disease - sadly, there seems no shortage of afflictions. We walked around the museum, sat on a bench and people watched, and I was filled with a sense of happiness and peace just sitting there in the glorious sunshine with my much loved Mouse Spouse.

Today is that pagan American fest of Halloween - television is overwhelmed with horror movies such as The Omen 1, 2; The Exorcist 1,2; and of course Halloween one to three thousand. Why do horror movies always have a zillion sequels? They are so completely stupid! The Exorcist was very cool though, I watched it for the fifth time until 2am. Talking of horror movies, this evening the Mouse Spouse and I are heading to The Bridge Cinema Deluxe to see the horror flick The Grudge. Probably more in the genre of silly horror movies, but nevertheless, it is Halloween!

It was with great sadness that I read on Yahoo News today that Arafat is feeling better! Like the various monsters in the Horror movie genre, this ogre, it seems, will also never die!

SM

The Eve of a Jewish Holiday?

2004-10-27T21:34:00.000-04:00

I never usually rejoice to hear that anyone is on his/her deathbed. But I make an exception in the case of Yasser Arafat. No "man" fills me with as much revulsion and loathing as he does. So I admit, I was rather delighted to read that he was listed as "critical". He's cheated death so many times, that some people wonder if he is immortal. He isn't, even the devil must die sometime.

SM

Kerry and Clinton Do Philly!

2004-10-26T21:00:00.000-04:00

Yesterday John Kerry and former prez (and bj enthusiast) Bill Clinton travelled to Philadelphia to rouse Philadelphians from their apathy and encourage them to vote Democrat next week! Being the adventurous mouse that I am, I was determined to go to the rally! However, just my luck, we had an important work meeting scheduled at exactly the same time the Demo Dudes were due to address the crowds. I appealed to HR to reschedule, but alas, they could not. Despite this depressing news, I trekked off to Love Park where the rally was taking place to at least stand amongst the throng of Kerry supporters, hear a few preliminary speeches and enjoy the excitement.

I must admit, Americans could learn a thing or two about rallying from South Africans. Americans were sedate by comparison. No ululating, no toyi-toying (a unique rallying dance made famous by anti-Apartheid demonstators - it's loads of fun!) no raised fists and no shouts of VIVA! But the atmosphere in Center City was very upbeat, there were humorous anti-Bush expressions all over, and some rather disturbing ones (like the witchy looking woman with a bright orange poster proclaiming that Bush is the Anti-Christ!)

I wasn't that upset to leave early - the truth was there were so many thousands of people, it was impossible to get anywhere near the stage area - so I wouldn't have been able to see Bill and John anyway.... Look at this photo - I was standing under the red arrow:

I am really excited about the election a week from today - despite the fact that I can't participate! I just pray one George W, next week this time, will be congratulating Kerry on his landslide victory!

SM

Not a Hair Out of Place

2004-10-22T23:07:00.000-04:00

If you want to see our Vice President wannabee, pretty boy Edwards at his finest, you have to click here. Keep a vomit bucket nearby, it may make you want to hurl. And warning to all Democrat voters -- viewing this may make you change your vote to the Republican camp. My only hope is that should Edwards be elected, he will put as much effort into helping the American people as he does in coiffing his hair! (You'd never see Cheney in this compromising position...of course, the man is bald, but that is besides the point.)

SM

A Sacred Right

2004-10-22T01:41:00.000-04:00

Of late I have been writing freelance for a new neighborhood paper. When the editor found out I was not American, she asked me to write my perspective of the upcoming Presidential elections, in particular, whether I thought American's took the vote for granted. Below is the article I submitted:

April 26, 1994 was a crisp fall day, one that I will never forget. All over South Africa, the country of my birth, millions of people stood in line from before sun up, to cast their vote in the country’s first ever non-racial, democratic elections. The lines of people in many rural areas measured several miles, and newspapers reported of people, many of them elderly, patiently waiting for up to six hours in the sun to cast their vote. The headlines in the daily newspaper (which I have kept for posterity) proclaimed: “One long line to freedom.” The atmosphere across the country was euphoric – after decades of repression, segregation and the denial of the most basic human rights to the vast majority of South Africans, freedom had arrived.

Of course I, as part of the white South African minority, had never been denied the right to vote. On the basis of my skin color alone, I had been a member of the privileged class while my 35 million black fellow citizens (and any other people deemed “non-white”) had been forced to live under the indignities of the Apartheid system. Prior to South Africa’s first democratic elections, I had never bothered to cast my vote – after all what kind of absurd joke was an election that excluded the vast majority of the electorate? Growing up privileged in a country where I was surrounded by glaring racial inequalities always filled me with guilt, anger and a horrible feeling of helplessness.

And so it was, when Apartheid finally crumbled in the early 1990’s, that I took my place in line amongst my fellow South Africans of all color, to finally participate in a real democratic election. Beside me in the line was Christina, the beloved black nanny who had lived with my family for over 25 years. At age 58, she would cast her first ever vote. She would finally get a say in the running of a country where she and her ancestors had lived for centuries, long before white, Dutch settlers had set foot on the southern African continent. For Christina and for me, the vote meant a lot more than just electing the party and president of our choice – it signaled the death knell of inequality, and a new future for both of our descendants.

Today I find myself living in the United States, and ironically perhaps, denied of my right to vote in the upcoming Presidential elections. My status in this country is that of a “resident alien” which sounds more like some creature out of some Star Trek episode, than that of someone who has legally lived in the country for three years. Not being able to vote in a country where I now feel at home, and having to remain silent over election issues that I would passionately like to express in my ballot, is made all the more frustrating when I know that America has among the lowest voter turnout of any democracy in the world. In the 2000 Presidential elections – a measly 51% of voter age Americans cast their vote.

Have Americans forgotten their past? Have you forgotten that it was only in 1920 that American women were given the right to vote after Congress took 42 years to adopt an amendment proposed in 1878 that granted women the vote? Have minority Americans forgotten that despite the adoption of the 15th Amendment in 1869 guaranteeing the right to vote for all men, most minority men in the southern states were deprived of their voting rights by the Jim Crow law until President Lyndon B Johnson signed the Voting Rights Act in 1965 protecting blacks and minorities from any other state-supported obstacles to the vote.

It is difficult for me to understand voter apathy in America, especially when there are so many important issues facing this country. Americans need to appreciate their freedoms and the quality of their lives. Perhaps we immigrants who have lived in countries where freedoms are not taken for granted, and who regard the vote as a sacred privilege should be granted the right to vote. This is not such an outlandish idea either. In 1848, the state of Wisconsin granted voting rights to aliens if they'd resided in the state for one year and declared their intent to become citizens. This precedent was later adopted in other liberal states. By such reasoning, I would have the right to vote, and you can be damn sure I’d exercise it too!

SM

From Belgium Scones to Meatloaf in One Day!

2004-10-09T23:18:00.000-04:00

A baby grand piano, comfortable couches and marble-topped tables are the signature of the Swann Lounge. Thus reads the Four Season's Hotel website describing their very larny Swann Lounge, where I indulged in "High Tea" today with V and a few of her friends.

Upon entering the fancy hotel, the doorman greeted me aimably with a "Welcome Back!" "Welcome back?" chuckled I, "I've never been here before in my life!" I wondered, did I dare to suppose I looked like I 'belonged' at the Four Seasons? Surely I do not exude the aroma of the filthy rich creatures who flit around its sumptuous interior!

In the comfy couches outside the Swann Lounge I met up with V and her friends -- two lovely preggie engineers, an soft-spoken engineering consultant, likeable Linda - married for 10 years, and of course V. In short, a lovely and diverse group of intelligent and interesting women. Not surprising given that V is the common link. Tea was frankly divine -- I felt like I'd been thrown back to decadent colonialist times where women gathered to imbibe loose-leaf tea and dainty snacks. Three of us selected the "social tea" (aka no alcohol) and three selected the "royal tea" (aka with sherry/cocktail or sparkling wine). Besides the vast array of teas, we were presented with delicious finger sandwhiches of smoked salmon, crab salad, cream cheese and chives and of course, cucumber sandwhiches. In addition, there were Belgium scones (plain and blackcurrent) with Devonshire Clotted Cream, Preserves and Lemon Curd. Plus an array of decadent desserts -- strawbs dipped in chocolate, canolies, choc mousse cups....

Not only was the tea to die for, but the company was eminently satisfying. We discussed everything from world cruises, to the ridiculous price of housing in NJ, to pregnancy no-no's (I had no idea pregnant women had to refrain from using nail polish - horrors! Or desist from eating shark! Imagine that - no shark! How do they cope!?)

I left the Four Seasons two hours later, and headed over to the Mouse Spouse. There we had a light din of meatloaf (that rather bizarre concoction unique to the American experience -- kind of like a big, solid, rectangular meatball), corn and mash potatoes. We snuggled together and watched the silly, yet entertaining movie 13 Going on 30, and then I drove home to Center City - alone alas since the Mouse Spouse needs to make an early visit to his 91 year-old grandpa tomorrow morning. I hate being without him on weekends -- there is nothing more glorious than falling asleep next to my hirsuit, cuddly Mouse Spouse and drifting off to dreamland to the sound of his rumbling snores...

SM

A Needle in a Haystack - I found it!

2004-10-08T21:12:00.000-04:00

Well, it wasn't exactly in a haystack. It was in Germantown. Let me explain.

I have weak lungs -- it's a long story which I won't bore you with - but just so you know. Every winter, when the temperatures turn frigid, I start getting a mild case of hysteria because any potential lung infection is very dangerous for me. If I so much as get a sore throat, I get nervous. So anyway, to try prevent any illness, I always religiously get a flu shot (and a pneumonia shot every five years). So imagine my dismay when I read the news that 50% of American's supply of the flu vaccine imported from the UK was tainted and therefore had to be destroyed. Bottom line: dire shortage of flu vaccines in north America. Bottom bottom line: Scarlett has a massive hysteria attack.

Thus, today began my pursuit of the illusive flu vaccine. I called my general practioner: "Sorry, no vaccines...we were getting it from the UK." I called my respiratory physician: "Sorry, no flu vaccines. You'll have to get it somewhere else." Gee thanks. I called CVS pharmacy which runs a flu shot clinic in Oct/Nov -- I usually get my shot there -- "sorry, no clinic, no vaccines". I almost gave up. But thanks to a bit of tech savviness on my part and mumbled prayers to the Gods, I came accross www.findaflushot.com - a veritable messiah online! Lo and behold, after entering my zip code, I found a flu clinic a few miles away, giving away shots today!

I dived onto mapquest.com for driving directions - as I had no idea where the location was. Big mistake! Mapquest told me it was an 18 minute drive. WRONG! Thanks to their screwed up directions, it took me 2 hours and 15 minutes to find the f*cking supermarket which was running the clinic. I must have stopped about 15 times to ask for directions - everyone was super nice, but super clueless too. Stupidly I had left my cellphone at home so I couldn't call anyone for help. I was furious and exhausted, but this frustration all but vanished when I came accross Margaret, a sweet ol' dame, dispensing flu shots in a backroom of the supermarket amongst crates of produce and the restrooms. Much to my glee, there was no line. Not a soul in sight. I was shocked -- I was sure hundreds of people, desperate for flu shots, would be eagerly awaiting their vaccine.

It took me TEN minutes to get home which was enough to restore my fury at Mapquest for making me drive 20 miles in the opposite direction. Upon arriving home, head a-pounding, I devoured a bowl of leftover spaghetti and meatballs and a big glass of Welch's fizzy grape juice.

It is now 3 hours later, and I am listening to the third presidential debate. Frankly, I'm rather bored with these debates, it's the same old rhetoric and bullshit - neither candidate is spewing anything new. The vice-presidential debate was far more interesting -- Cheney looked like he was about to punch Edwards in his pretty-boy face, it was down and dirty. Good reality television. I think instead of having these debates, they should make the candidates appear on Fear Factor -- Let's see Bush eat cockroaches and Kerry mess up his well-coiffed hair.

SM

Oh Henry!

2004-10-04T23:03:00.000-04:00

Tonight I met Dr. Henry Kissinger. I bagged some free tix to the Widener University speaker series at the beautiful Kimmel Center, and V and I went along to hear what Kissinger had to say. I'm embarraced to admit I didn't know terribly much about Henry - other than that he is Jewish, and served at some time or another as Secretary of State. I was hoping to learn more and learn more I did.

He spoke very eloquently on foreign policy, listing three major threats to the world:
1. Muslim Fundamentalism (he made a point of saying he was not attacking Islam)
2. Weapons of Mass Destruction / Proliferation
3. The shift in the center of gravity of the World - from the Atlantic to Pacific oceans - world events used to center around Europe/USA - they are now shifting to countries like China and India.

Ultimately he said it is the USA that can play the most pivotal role in perpetuating peace. He said a perpetual peace may only be achieved after a huge catastrophe, but the hope is that it can be created instead by putting an international order in place. Of course this is not going to be easy -- for eg. China has existed for over 3,800 years - one Chinese dynasty is older than the lifespan of the USA - so she is not about to be dictated to by us.

What really amazed me about Kissinger were his thoughts on the Israeli-Palestinian situation. I nearly fell out of my seat! He believes firmly that there is reason for great optimism, stating that out of all the conflicts in the world today, the Israel-Palestinian conflict is the closest to resolution and that it can and will be achieved. Henry, from your mouth to God's ears!

I left the Kimmel in high spirits after hearing such optimistic news, and it must be admitted, with grumbling stomach. As usual, upon arriving home, I celebrated this very interesting evening by dressing up a boring frozen pizza in a delicious array of Kalmata olives, cherry tomatoes, fresh mushrooms and extra shavings of cheddar cheese, and gorged it all while watching Law and Order SVU. Even the revolting sexual violence on screen did nothing to deter me from my pizza....

SM

Hunger in America?

2004-10-03T23:16:00.000-04:00

"Throughout the area, in suburbs and in cities, food pantries and agencies that distribute food say they have seen huge growth in the number of working families forced to seek their aid."
Philadelphia Inquirer, 9/26/04

So in the most prosperous nation in the world, people are going hungry. And these aren't only the unemployed -- more and more working Americans are relying on food banks to feed their families. After reading the above article last week, I resolved that it was time to get off my ass and do something to help. I always think how blessed I am, so it was time to give back.

It was very fortuitous therefore when an email arrived in my work inbox asking for volunteers to sort groceries, gathered during the high holiday food drive, at the Philadelphia Food Bank. So off I went today for a four hour shift.

The food bank is a monolithic storehouse. There were bags and bags of groceries waiting to be sorted into huge boxes labeled by categories like pasta/rice; vegetables, cereals, non-food items etc. The work was pretty tiring as it involved lugging the items around and distributing them into the appropriate receptacles. But, when I emerged four hours later with black hands and achy back, I felt pretty good.

SM

Recommendation of the week: My dear friend in Tel Aviv, Big M - introduced me to SKYPE this weekend, an amazing internet telephone download. All you need is a headset with mike, download the program, and whammo, you are talking to friends around the world over the Net, for FREE. The clarity was amazing -- Big M sounded like he was sitting next to me!

Relief of the week: Lori Hacking's body was finally unearthed at the landfill. I am so pleased that she can now have a proper burial and that the evidentiary burden will be strengthened so that piece of scum Mark Hacking can get what he deserves.

Poodles with Prostrates

2004-09-30T23:31:00.000-04:00

No work today. Or tomorrow. Woohoo! The reason, it's that delightful Jewish holiday called Succoth, aka the Feast of Tabernacles. The latter conjures up an image in my head of a group of octopusses (octopii?) gathered around a large dining table, gorging themselves on scrumptuous treats.

Yes. I do have a wild imagination. Get over it.

Last night I went to a Quizzo night at The Artful Dodger pub in the Old City. It was organized by a group called MeetinPhiladelphia -- my friend Veronica has been to some of their gatherings, so I went along. I fancy myself as fairly intelligent and knowlegeable in general trivia - so you can imagine my disappointment to learn that I couldn't answer a single quizzo question! Admittedly, many were American history questions which I cannot in all fairness be expected to know (such as true or false Jack Daniels was inbibed before the Civil War -- answer False; or name two US Presidents who were Quakers -- Nixon!). There were other ridiculous questions such as which of the following mammals has a prostrate gland -- horse, dog, pig or rat? I gave it serious thought, trying to figure out whether having a prostrate would result in advanced cases of randiness. I also had a difficult time picturing a penis on a rat. I suppose the male of the species do have them - luckily I've never been in close enough proximity to a rat to search out their sexual organs. The answer was dog -- we said rat thinking that the very inebriated Quizzo host and pub owner Eghbert was trying to trick us.

Tonight was the first Presidential Debate -- though a disenfranchised alien, I still decided to watch, mainly because there was literally NOTHING else on TV -- it was on every frigging channel. I have to admit, it was rather interesting to watch Kerry and Bush argue over terrorism, national security and flip-flops (not the foot apparel, the frequent changing of opinions). I thought Kerry came across as very articulate and convincing, whereas Bush looked slighly dazed a lot of the time, and kept repeating the same lines over and over again like a broken record. For me the funniest moment was when Kerry omitted to mention that Poland was one of the allies serving in Iraq, and Bush attacked his omission like a rottweiler who'd just spotted a delicious poodle on a spit. Poland Shmoland, don't make me laugh!

SM

Jeane Arrives With a Splash!

2004-09-28T21:40:00.000-04:00

Hurricane Jeane, or the remnants thereof, has arrived in Philly. My God, what a deluge - it's pissing out there, raining hippos and elephants, never mind cats and dogs!

Tonight I was looking forward to going to the Philadelphia Free Library to hear Alexander McCall-Smith, esteemed author of The Number One Woman's Detective Agency series - the most delightful and charming series I've read in a long time. The books are set in Botswana, and relate the wonderful stories of Mma Ramotswe, a "traditionally built" African woman who becomes a detective. If you haven't read this book, go order it NOW from Amazon! Anyway, so I was really excited to hear McCall-Smith speak, but when I gazed out the window at the torrents of rain, I had second thoughts. I was concerned that my little Toyota Corolla 1996 would be swept away...

However, I just couldn't turn down this unique opportunity, so off I went. My concerns were not in vain, it was really freaky driving in huge puddles of water. I would have made better progress in a canoe. Somehow I managed to reach the library, miraculously found parking and entered the library looking somewhat like a soggy fishfinger. I was amazed to see the big turn out, evidently people felt it well worth risking body and vehicle to meet the author.

McCall Smith was just charming. A witty, delightful man who regaled us with hilarious stories about everything from his bassoon-playing in the orchestra he founded called "The Really Terrible Orchestra"; his travels around Africa, his new book based in Scotland and much more. He told the crowd that the Botswana book series was going to made into television movies - and I got up the courage to ask him during the Q&A to please reassure me that he would NOT allow Hollywood to butcher his beautiful African stories. I told him I'd have a stroke if someone like Whoopi Goldberg ended up playing the book's protaganist. This elicited much laughter from the crowd.

After the author signed my book, I managed to wade out to my faithful car which was still parked in its place despite the fast-flowing river flowing around it. It was bliss getting home, and I celebrated this wonderful evening of literary entertainment with a spruced up frozen pizza topped with Kalmata olives, marinated red peppers and extra cheese.

SM

Marmite and Crocodiles

2004-09-26T15:03:00.000-04:00

I think I have recovered from my self-induced Catholic guilt trip. I think I redeemed myself yesterday when I managed to fast all day for Yom Kippur and daven with real conviction, albeit from home. I always have the same dilemma each year: is it better (in God's eyes) to DRIVE to shul on Yom Kippur and pray with a community; or is it better to not drive, stay home, and pray alone? Given my feelings on the capitalistic nature of synagogues here in America (outlandish prices you have to pay for high holidays tickets like you're going to some expensive theatrical show!) -- I usually opt to stay home, and did this again this year. No regrets either. The Mouse Spouse and his family do not fast or mark the day, but they do nevertheless get together to "break the fast" -- what fast you may ask? I have no idea - it all seems rather silly to me!

I broke my fast as is customary on two delicious slices of raisin challah smothered in butter and marmite! I am marmite obsessed, and always have been -- I can eat it anytime and on practically everything ranging from cheddar cheese to choc-chip muffins and waffles! You are either a marmitephile or a marmite abhorrer, there is no in between! The Mouse Spouse is part of the latter fraternity -- not surprising, most Amerians cannot even bear to be in sniffing proximity to a jar of the stuff. If you have no idea what marmite is, check out the Marmite webiste!

This morning I went to a first b-day party of the son of my very close friend's bro. Ok, that sounds rather complex. My close friend Croc's brother lives in NYC, but his in-laws live here in Philly, so his son's b-day party took place at their house in Wynnewood. It is always great to see Croc's bro - I have known him my whole life, and again, it's that commonality of background and experience that is so precious. Now we are both on a mission to get the Croc to leave her SA swamp and slither all the way over here to Philly -- permanently! I can think of little which would make me happier than to have the Croc close-by! You may be wondering why she is the Croc -- well her family are all BIG people (6 foot +), whereas my family are all tiny (in the 5 foot range). My dad gave the Croc her nickname eons ago -- my dad has a nickname for everyone! (Even for himself -- the Skunk cos of his black/grey hair.) I can hardly wait to see what he comes up with for the Mouse Spouse. Croc's classic story involves a phone call she made a few years ago to my house:

"Hello Skunk, this is the Croc speaking, is the Mouse home?"
Her boss happened to overhear this conversation, and thought perhaps his employee was an underground member of the CIA!

SM

PS Happy National Peurto Rican Day to all my (non-existant) Peurto Rican friends! As I type I can hear music booming from the Parkway where celebrations are afoot and Peurto Ricans are running amok with gay abandon!

Off to the Chapel of Love

2004-09-20T01:18:00.000-04:00

So there I was, one day after Rosh Hashana, sitting in a Catholic Church in the godforsaken North Jersey suburb of Perth Amboy. The Mouse Spouse and I had shlepped in the pouring rain from Philly to N. Jersey to attend the wedding of his work colleague Norm and his bride Stephanie.

I had not given much thought to the church service, until I was sitting there, surrounded by sculptures and figures of Yoshka (aka Jesus) prostrate on the cross or in some state of agony. Listening to the priest, clothed in swathes of white cloth, his voice booming over the poor sound system about Christ and the saviour and the ghosts etc, I suddenly felt stricken with severe guilt and panic about sitting in a church, nogal a Catholic one, during the "Yomim Ha-Noraim" (the 10 days of judgement between Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur). I thought of apologizing to Hashem then and there and trying to convince him that I was merely there to observe a wedding and that I was totally oblivious to the teachings echoing around me -- but I then realized that the last place Hashem would hear me was in such a Goyish place of worship. So instead, I sat there, trying to do the opposite of those around me (well without offending anyone) - I didn't bow my head to pray for example -- and I kept mumbling to myself in my head to drown out the priest from my thoughts.

It was only when the parishoners started lining up to receive holy communion - that for a minute I experienced a stab of a catholic wannabe. I was hungry damn it - the Mouse Spouse and I had had no breakfast or lunch (it was 2.30 pm by now) -- even the bones of Jesus and his blood sounded appetizing in such a situation. But of course, I stayed cemented to my bench while the others opened their collective mouths to munch on the wafers. Poor Jesus, reduced to a wafer -- wouldn't it be more appropriate to offer church goers some biltong (beef jerky) or a tastier treat to represent the body of Yoshka?

Communion was followed by the priest declaring, "Peace be with you" to which all the congregants turned to eachother and shook hands declaring the same. They were friendly folk, and many reached out to wish me these good tidings - I was just grateful it was something milchik like "peace be with you" rather than "Walk with Christ" or something -- I wouldn't have known what to do! Anyway, after what seemed like a very long service and a never-ending rendition of "Havei Maria" - the couple was married and I joyfully trotted out of the church. When I got to the car, I apologized profusely to Hashem and assured him that I had no interest in anything Catholic. Not sure he heard me - I suspect Perth Amboy to be off his radar.

With a couple of hours to kill before the reception, the Mouse Spouse and I checked into the Hampton Inn and chilled.

The reception was pleasant enough. The only thing that set it apart from Jewish weddings was the absence of Hava Nargila, hoisting the couple on chairs and thankfully, benching. Oh, and the drinking. This was, believe it or not, my first goyishe wedding -- yes, I have lived a rather cloistered life -- and I was rather shocked to see the level of drinking. Of course, I'd long heard my father go on about how non-Jews drink - but I'd never really seen it. Last night I did, and it was quite alarming. I guess I'll never be a goy -- I had one sip of my apple martini and thought my oesophogus was going to explode. So it was Coke for me for the rest of the evening.

It was good to leave Perth Amboy around noon and return to Philly in the glorious sunshine. Chilling was the order of the rest of the day -- ending the weekend with the long winded Emmy Awards. Almost as much as a snore as my first foray into a Catholic church service.

SM

Remembering Tina Mogetsi

2004-09-17T19:14:00.000-04:00

Mom just called to tell me the sad news that my beloved Tina Mogetsi Monyeki passed away today. Tina was the "servant/maid/nanny" who lived with our family for 27 years, retiring only after I left SA in 1995.

I feel really sad, but I also feel confident that life in the next world will be infinitely better than the life she endured on earth. Born in South Africa, discriminated against so merclessly and having lived in such poverty and struggle -- and yet, in the 27 years that she lived with us, raised me and Brian and Saul, she will aways be remembered as such a cheerful, warm, caring and beautiful soul. Because of circumstances in SA, Tina raised us instead of her own children who she only saw a few times a year. I believe in many ways, Tina was more attached to us and our family than to her own - a really tragic SA reality. When I visited Tina in her run down little house in the middle of nowhere in Zeerust, sitting on her decaying mantelpiece were photographs of us . There were few pictures of her own family.

Tina will always be remembered by us with such love and wonderful memories. When I think of the many instances that she loved and cared for me, my eyes well up in tears. Especially during my illnesses, surgery etc, Tina doted on me - bringing me tea and marmite toast in bed, soothing me, caressing my face and always being there -- a rock of unconditional love. I remember all the lovely expressions she had and names for all of us. I was always Chocho (short for chocholoza - sweet, little thing), Dad was uncle Abe, Mom was Reeve, Saul was Zulu boy - I'm sure she had a name for Brian, but it escapes me now. She also doted on our pets, especially Prince and Georgie - I remember well how upset she was when Georgie died in 1995.

Her expressions make me smile as I remember them -- she used to ask what I wanted to eat, and one of the options was always "leg of Tina". If someone did something stupid, his/her brains had gone to the cleaners. And when asked where she lived, she would always say PO BOX, something or other, Zeerust of the sunset. I wish I could remember the rest, but it always induced laughter. Tina had the uneviable task of getting us up for school -- "Tsoocha Tsoocha!!" she would say to get us up in the mornings. I can still hear her mutterings in Tswana.

During our Pessach seders, Tina could always be heard singing "Dayeinu" in the kitchen - she knew more about Judaism than probably a lot of American Jews. And who could forget her cooking specialities - foods I still crave -- cottage pie ("cottegee pie"), her special stew of beef, peas and carrots, beetroot salad, liver and onions and pilchard fritters -- and day or night, should dad get some craving, she was always ready to fulfill his needs -- potato latkes, pap and tomatoes, kippers. Tina was always there for us when it counted most. When I think of Tina, I also think of ice mints and Lexington cigarettes.

One of the most treasured memories I have of Tina was the day of the first ever non-racial elections in South Africa. On that euphoric day, Tina and I stood in line together to cast our vote. Not very confident that she knew what to do, I virtually accompanied her right into the voting booth. It was a magical experience. A day that marked fundamental change in South Africa and a new future for Tina's grandchildren. Whereas Tina's son works as a domestic worker like she did, his three children are all univeristy graduates -- at least Tina lived to see a changed South Africa -- although, sadly, her own life was not changed by the new government - she was still confined to living in poverty - but at least the future of her children's children holds great hope. On an ironic, funny note, I also recall Tina remarking in exasperation after some outbreak of violence after Mandela was released from jail -- "those bloody blacks!" I've never forgotten it - it was as if she viewed herself as someone completely separate from other black South Africans.

When Grandpa died on the night of Saul's barmitzvah, Tina was with him. I have no doubt this was a great comfort to grandpa and it was to us later, knowing she was there. She told us afterwards how peaceful his passing had been. Tina always enveloped me in her ample bosom when I was upset or during family conflicts or fights when I, the youngest, would inevitably be most upset and affected. "It will be alright Noo-noo" she would say, stroking my hair and hugging me, and it always helped to soothe my anxiety. She was there in our happiest moments and our darkest, a constant presence and support -- part of the family -- and yet, not fully. When we'd watch TV in the playroom at 15 Lola, she would never join us on the couch (she'd sit on the landing by the stairs), she'd never eat with us...the typical weird scenario that is or was South Africa. We all loved Tina and she loved us, and yet, she was still a servant, still lived in a small room in the yard. A situation that always bothered me greatly, an irreconciliable reality that left me angry and helpless.

The last time I saw Tina was in January 2002, when my bro Saul and I visited her. She was barely recognizable, very thin and frail, but still with that special spark that radiated through her small frame and sad surroundings of poverty. Always very emotional when with us, it was a difficult visit, as as always, I felt so sad to see her living in such dire circumstances. Someone as special as Tina deserved better. I was so looking forward to seeing her in February 2005, and introducing her to the Mouse Spouse, but this was not to be.

Tina will always be remembered with immense love and very good memories. I am sure, given her wonderful acts of kindness and selflessness in her life, that she will merit a wonderful life in the world to come. May she rest in peace forever. Never forgotten.

SM

Brisket of Burden

2004-09-16T13:14:00.000-04:00

Happy New Year! 5765 I believe.My new year's resolution is never to cook 12 pounds of brisket ever again! I was asked to make brisket and tsimmes for 35 people to din tonite at the Mouse Spouse's sister. I thought 6 pounds would suffice, but Mother Mouse Spouse, thought another 6 pounds was de rigeur. I had no idea what a frigging ordeal this would be!

Tuesday night I set about browning and then boiling 6 large chunks of cow carcass in two huge pots (one borrowed from the other Mouse Spouse's sister). That wasn't so bad, afterall, all I had to do was occassionally stab the hunks to tell if they were tender enough to wrench from the pot. G-d forbid I overcook the brisket! After almost 3 hours, the brisket was extricated from the pot and readied for slicing. I had especially purchased an electric knife to spare me having to do this manually. I had no idea what hard work slicing a beast of burden could be. Electic knife and all.

By the end of the slicing, about 90 minutes later, my arm was about to fall off. And today, two days later, my right hand and arm are really sore - I expect it was a combo of trying to whip the unwhippable cream on Monday night, cutting the brisket and peeling a dozen sweet potatoes yesterday.Anyway, we will shortly be shlepping 3 large containers of brisket and tsimmes and halva ice cream to Richboro. I can't even look at brisket anymore and do not intend eating any! I just hope the guests come hungry and with a deep craving for brisket, because I refuse to take any home for leftovers! I'd sooner eat a shofar.

SM

Update (post Rosh Hashana): Believe it or not, only about 2 pounds of the blessed brisket was consumed last night. There was so much other food, it was hardly surprising! The remaining 10 pounds was divvied up into tupperwares and distributed among the guests. I refused to take home any - couldn't stand the thought of ever seeing brisket again!

Whipped!

2004-09-13T23:39:00.000-04:00

Only yesterday, on the occasion of the Mouse Spouse's father's birthday, wherein I baked a special train cake (he is a train collector) - the Mouse Spouse's bro-in-law remarked that I never go wrong when it comes to cooking/baking. Well that may have been true. Until tonight.

Wednesday is Rosh Hashanah - and Thurs night we are going to the Mouse Spouse's sister for din. Us and 30 other people. I was commissioned to make the brisket and tsimmes and halva ice cream (a firm favorite with some fam members). The brisket nightmare begins tomorrow -- I have 14 pounds of meat to cook - I will have to cook in shifts as I have two pots and I think I might need three. Wish me luck.

Anyway...back to tonight's disaster. So there I was, all ready to make my classic halva ice cream. The recipe is a pain as you have to beat the yolks & sugar; egg whites and cream separately. Three dirty bowls and having to clean the beaters between each task. Anyway, I did the yolks and whites, and then started to whip the cream. Twenty minutes later, my hand aching from holding the hand mixer, all I saw as I peered into the bowl were bubbles and liquid. The cream stubbornly refused to stiffen! What was wrong pondered I. Was the glass bowl affecting it? Ok, maybe...so I empty the cream into a stainless steel bowl (bowl no. 4 to clean!). And off I went, mixer in hand, ready to whip again. I figured it might be like starting over, so I gave it another 20 minutes. The cream still stubbornly refused to stiffen! I was dumbfounded! Cream was fresh. Bowl was fine. What the f*ck was going on? Conclusion -- the evil eye (ayin hora) had struck since the Mouse Spouse's bro-in-law complimentary comment yesterday.

I called the Mouse Spouse. He may not be a cooking connoisseur, but I suspected that this might be more a case of chemistry - the cream interacting with steel or glass? Nope, Mouse Spouse had no idea as to the origin of the problem. Next, I called the Mouse Spouse's mom. She too was perplexed. Was I using the right cream? (Isn't cream cream?) Were the beaters cold when I used them? (No-one had ever told me to freeze beaters before whipping!) Anyway, I looked at the clock, it was 7 minutes to 10 -- 7 minutes until Whole Foods closes. I grabbed my keys and raced to my car and sped all the way there, cursing the f*cking cream!

Peering at the dairy shelves...my eyes spied a carton called "Heavy Whipping Cream". And therein, ladies and gentlemen, lay the solution of this very irritating mystery! You cannot whip light cream, you have to use the heavy variety! I grabbed two cartons, raced to the check out, where the checker-outer joked that they were closed. Sorry. I almost fell for it, until he beamed at me. I couldn't resist telling him about the curious events of the evening -- he seemed fascinated. Not. I wished him good night, and sped towards the door. "Ah Miss," yelled G the checker-outer, "you forgot your packet!" Embarrassed giggle, admission that it is a good thing my head is screwed on, and off I went.

Back home, I threw the stubborn unwhippable cream down the drain uttering obscenities, and then washed the bowl, washed the beaters, and set about whipping the heavy cream. Ah the bliss of seeing it stiffen within minutes. Of course, because 2 hours had passed since I'd whipped the egg whites, they had returned to their liquid form, so yet again, cleaned the beaters, and rebeat them!

You'll be happy to hear that the eggs and cream were combined, halva was added, and the completed halva ice cream is now ensconced in my freezer between the frozen chicken breasts and American Choice fish sticks.

End of the Blog Drought

2004-09-06T13:04:00.000-04:00

It's been some time since I last blogged - it's not that I haven't had stuff to rant about, it's just that I've been busy! Since today is Labor Day, I thought it was time for me to labor on my blog. Actually, I'm pretty bored. The Mouse Spouse and I don't quite know what to do with ourselves over such a long weekend, there isn't much going on. No movies worth seeing. No family get-togethers, and not quite pool weather, thanks probably to ol' Frances who caused havoc down south and continues to do so. The media have been obsessing about Frances non stop all weekend. Other stories like Sonoma burning down, Japan suffering earthquakes, and the horrific massacre of mainly children in Breslan, Russia, have largely been ignored. The other big story, yawn, is Clinton's bypass surgery. Big deal. How many people have bypass surgery every day?

Thankfully the Republican convention has come and gone. Nog a bore. I have this god awful feeling that Bush is going to be around for another 4 years....

Anyway, guess I don't really have much to blog about today...the Mouse Spouse and I are going to head to Old City and go munch on some lunch at Cosi and watch the passing parade.

SM

New York Bound

2004-08-09T23:59:00.000-04:00

Hurrah, I'm off to NYC this week to attend a two day seminar on E-Marketing and attend a website training session for our soon-to-be overhauled work website. Work of late has definitely gotten interesting and challenging - I'm going to be redoing the website starting next week and my role has gone back to focusing on everything related to electronic marketing. Though I was happy to learn other forms of marketing in the last 2 years, my first love is definitely web and the electronic medium, so I am happy to be focusing on this in the next few months. I feel very fortunate to be where I am workwise - I am working on interesting stuff, our organization makes a difference to many people's lives, my colleagues are great - it really was the perfect first-job in America for me.

I just got home from a divine din at Illuminare restaurant in Fairmount followed by coffee at Mugshots Coffee Shop a few blocks away. This was stage one of my article for The Spirit - a review of the newest establishments in Fairmount. It was a lot of fun, I spoke to the owners, got info, indulged in the menu items and gathered enough info for a good review. On Saturday night we are going to celebrate the Mouse Spouse's birthday at Rembrandts (the oldest Fairmount restaurant) afterwhich I will write up my review. Can't wait to see it in print!

Perhaps the coolest reason I love going to NYC, is that I get to spend my evenings with my dear old South African friend Liora who lives in Brooklyn. It is so seldom that I get to hang out with a close friend who I have known for over 20 years - so I look forward to a lekker gesels (good talk) and catch up!

For the last few weeks I have been following the disturbing case in Utah of the missing jogger Lori Hacking. Today her husband Mark was arrested for murder. The bastard shot her in her sleep and dumped her body in the trash. She is now buried somewhere in a landfill amidst tons of garbage. What a god awful end. What is so terrifying about this case is how her husband lived in a world of falsity and deception - poor Lori had no idea who she was really married to. I pray they find her body, her family deserve to give her a proper burial, noone deserves to lie in the trash. Except maybe Mark Hacking.

On the lighter side of life, life seems to be improving in the UK -- and here is why:

Prozac Found in English Waters
Tests show trace amounts of the antidepressant Prozac.
Authorities say so many people are taking the drug, it's getting into the sewage system.
Although the amount is very small now, it's being watched to see if it rises, since no one knows what the health impact of the Prozac could be.

What a great idea! Adding Prozac to the water system! Maybe it will put an end to all the pissed off, angry, depressed lunatics who run amok in our country today. I think it would definitely be particularly helpful to drop tons of it into the water supply in the Middle East!

SM

A Convention or a Circus?

2004-07-29T00:09:00.000-04:00

So, yawn, the Democratic Convention is underway in Boston. I have watched snatches of it - and I say snatches because it nauseates me to watch more than about 5 minutes at a time. I don't have the vote here as I'm not a citizen nor a green card holder (kind of ironic that I now get to experience what it is like to be disenfranchised like so many of my fellow-South Africans were for decades) - but as usual, I am fairly interested in what goes on around me, so I've tried to learn what I can about Kerry and Edwards. I'm still not sure what to make of them - I am quite put off by their pretty-boy looks (especially Edwards) and their huge personal wealth. How can someone with millions of dollars truly appreciate the needs of the average American? I sat and listened to speeches, the promises, Edwards tonight declaring "there is HOPE" and I just don't buy any of it. Has there be any improvement in access to healthcare here in the last 50 years? Is homelessness dead? Are the impoverished less impoverished? Are American children better educated now? My guess is that nothing really changes here, not for the masses.

It nauseates me to see the rapture on the crowds' faces as they take in the speeches, the loud music, dancing, glitz and glamor of flashing screens etc....I think about what this circus must cost - couldn't the money be better spent? I hate the fact that you have to have money to get into office in this country...

If I'm sounding communist or socialist, so be it. I don't see either as a dirty word. There are up sides to all economic systems, and downsides too. Lately I'm seeing a whole, ugly side to capitalism, and it upsets me profoundly. Take for example how the quality of one's whole life in this country is dependent on a number. Your credit score. Take for example how credit card companies continually try to entice people into obtaining new credit cards, then get you into a hole of debt that you cannot get out of because of crippling interest and other 'hidden' charges. I think it's criminal! And then you have me who can't get a fucking credit card because I have no credit history due to only having a social security number for 2 years. So I have to do ridiculous things like give my bank half my savings in return for a bank loan that I don't want or need, purely for the reason of trying to establish my credit. So I gave the bank x amount, they then gave me the same amount, and now I have to pay off the loan at interest of course, so I'm losing money doing something I really didn't need to do, but for the chance that it MAY help me establish credit. The only up side of all this crap is that it is practically impossible for me to get into debt cos I can't get a credit card!

I am happy to be in America, and like many aspects of life here, but the above just sickens me to the core.

SM

Maybe Life Begins at 35?

2004-07-25T13:20:00.000-04:00

Since celebrating my birthday last week, life has been more exciting than usual!

On Thursday night I went with my friend Veronica to see Cirque de Soleil. V won a CityPaper contest and landed two ace tix to the Cirque, free dinner at Christians and a limo to shlep us about. What a great evening it was. It was so cool to have a long, black and sleek limo waiting to take us to our various destinations - we got to sample a bit of the celeb life, and we liked it baby!
Cirque was unbelievable, and anything I write here really cannot do it justice. Many of the acts defied what we would expect human beings able to do, and gawking at the fabulous male specimans was a treat. Besides these two irritating blonde idiot woman sitting next to us who didn't shut up for one minute, the show was fabulous!

Other excitement this week revolves around progress in my freelance writing endeavors. I saw a freelance job ad on Craigslist for a Grant Writer at U of Penn, and decided to apply - despite working full-time, I do have time in the evenings and on weekends to do some freelance work. Also I barely get by on my non-profit salary, so every extra dime helps. Turns out the job is for the biochem dept and the man in charge is quite an extraordinary character! His name is Dr. Britton Chance and if you google him, you'll see that he is the pre-eminant authority in everything to do with bio chemistry. He has three Phds, a gold Olympic medal, and at the ripe old age of 91, still works 6 days a week from 7am-7pm and cycles to and from work! It was an honor to meet such a man, he has the gentle manner and wry sense of humor, and one cannot but be inspired by his dedication to his field. When I asked, amazed how he manages to work six days a week at his age, his eyes lit up and he exclaimed, "I love it!"

So I landed the gig and spent much of yesterday editing a 48 page grant proposal on a hand-held breast cancer detection gadget. Besides the fact that I am the most unscientific gal around, I really enjoyed the work. I think deep down I am a wannabe school teacher, I get a kick out of correcting people's mistakes! I am hoping Dr. Chance will like my work and this will open up more freelance opportunities with him and with the U of Penn in general.

Thanks to Craigslist I saw another post this week about a new neighborhood newspaper coming soon to various areas of Philly. They were advertising for freelance writers, so I replied. Yesterday I got the email I have been wishing for ever since arriving in the States. The first line read, "Daniella, I really like your style of writing, I want you to write for us!" Woohoo! The first edition comes out in September and I'll be covering my Art Museum neighborhood - my first article will be restaurant reviews - rather ironic given my physique! This is the answer to my prayers, the opportunity to write freelance for an American publication - a means to get experience and get my name out there - the money, if there is any, is secondary! I love writing (duh!) and enjoy going out and about in the evenings and on weekends gathering stuff to write about in my free time.

So, so far, 35 is turning out to be great, full of new and exciting opportunities!
Onwards and upwards!

SM

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to!

2004-07-16T14:13:00.000-04:00

I can't believe it. Tomorrow I will be 35 years old! It's not that I feel or look old (some people still mistake me for a teenager - why is it that people always assume that petite people are young!?), but I do feel a bit down at the thought of approaching my 40's. Maybe I would feel less down about it if I felt I'd accomplished a lot in my 35 years. I know I know, I'm being hard on myself...there aren't a lot of people out there who have survived SMA, scoliosis, and two immigrations. I should be pretty proud of myself. It's just that in mainstream society accomplishment is measured at my age, in being married with a few snotty nosed kids in tow, a house with a picket fence, a golden retriever and a successful career. I'm not too depressed at not having the huge responsibility and 24/7 burden of caring for kids, but I would like to be settled down, own a nice comfy home (with or without the picket fence) and the dog. I want the dog more than anything, lol.

AT least I have the fabulous Mouse Spouse in my life, being alone at 35 would really suck. I have great family and my health. I have a decent job, great friends (albeit not in Philly) and a good quality of life. What more can a gal ask for at age 35?

Happy Birthday to Me - I look forward to a great year ahead.
Wow, blogging is great, I managed to cheer myself up! This is better than therapy! :-)

SM

Sounds from home...

2004-07-11T08:48:00.000-04:00

Last night me and the Mouse Spouse went to the Keswick Theatre to see Johnnie Clegg and Savuka - probably the most well known South African band. It was so unbelievable to sit there and hear all my favorite songs, to hear South African accents in the audience and to get up and dance and scream! He played many old favorites and some songs off his new album - it was so cool! For those short two hours, I felt connected to my South African roots and it felt so damn good! I will definitely see him again when he comes back next year! Rock on!

A few days ago, the International Court of Justice ruled that Israel's security fence is illegal and should be dismantled. The ruling was no surprise, to me anyway, the UN minions are consistently anti-Israel. I have tried to define my own feelings about the security fence, but I find myself "sitting on the fence" in this issue. I can totally appreciate the wisdom of Israel's trying to stop terror attacks in Israel - and largely, until today (a woman was murdered in a bomb attack in Tel Aviv), the fence has succeeded in significantly halting terror. What bothers me about the Fence is how it impacts on the lives of ordinary Palestinians - cutting them off from their land, schools and making their lives very difficult. Should I care that "my enemies" lives are inconvenienced and made intolerable? Should I give a fuck when the bottom line is the Fence seems to be saving Israeli lives? This is what I struggle with. I always try to distinguish between terrorists and ordinary Palestinians -- surely there must be Palestinians who do not support terror, who just want to live ordinary lives with family, jobs and food on the table? Sometimes it's difficult to believe their are "good" Palestinians, but to believe otherwise would be counter to my humanistic beliefs. I always think of Anne Frank's famous quote, that despite everything, she still believed that people were basically good.

Finally, congratulations must go to one Phillip Rabinowitz of Cape Town, South Africa, a 100 year old who set a new official record yesterday in a 100-meter sprint. Way to go old geezer!

SM

High on Diversity

2004-07-04T20:20:00.000-04:00

In my last post I expressed how content I am living in America. After just having returned home from the July 4th Parade on the Parkway (literally a few steps from my door), I feel really euphoric to be in the USA. What I so love about living here is the diversity, shown so beautifully today in the Parade.

First of all, I had trouble deciding whether to look at the parade participants or just the hundreds of people milling about the Parkway. Both were rivetting. During the parade, representatives from every imagineable community strutted their stuff in their unique national or festive get up. There were the Irish, Polish, Philipino, Sikh, Indian, Pakistani, Chinese, Falun Gong, Bolivian, Italian communities to name a few. They all danced or pranced or marched to the general joy of all gathered. The Parkway was overrun with families and kids -- especially African-American kiddies with their hair in elaborate braids decorated with red, white and blue barette (American for clip fellow South Africans) - you can just eat them. Also in evidence were many many obese Americans, young and old, dressed in skimpy shorts and tank tops, sans a care in the world. I could sit out there all day and just people watch.

America fascinates me! And I love to be fascinated :-)

Mouse in America

2004-07-02T12:57:00.000-04:00

I just realized that three years ago today I arrived in America.

When I landed at Miami Internation Airport I had no idea that I would be permanently relocating from Israel to the USA. Initially I came just to check it out, to visit my ex-boyfriend who I was still close to, intending to stay two months. But I fell in love with south Florida - the tranquility, the beautiful beaches, the sparkling ocean and the complete lack of fear, anxiety and terror that was a part of my everyday existence in Israel. I also fell completely out of love with my ex. Despite the latter, I decided to return to Israel, sell or pack up my belongings, and return to the USA, full of hope that I would find a job and start a new life.

Things didn't exactly work out that way. 9/11 happened. Could not find a job in south Florida - luckily I still had work doing web stuff for an Israeli company, so it kept me going. I lived a vacation-like existence in Florida for a year. It was a wonderful time, but also a worrisome and lonely time too. I missed my friends in Israel and worried about my very tenuous legal status in the States. With two weeks left on my visitor's visa, I made a trip to Philly to visit family, and totally lucked out, finding a job at a Jewish non-profit. And so once again, I packed up and moved North to a city I was totally unfamiliar with, where I had no friends and little family. But two years on, I can look back and feel really proud of the life I have made for myself here. I really like living in America - I feel happy, secure and safe, I've met a wonderful guy and his equally amazing family, I like my job and enjoy everything this city has to offer!

Happy July 4th!

SM

PS If you don't hear from me again it means I've won the megamillions lottery - $290 million - and gone on an extended vacation! :-)

What do ya think Rumsfeld?

2004-06-28T22:14:00.000-04:00

Every day I read the news I find myself feeling more and more angry at what is going on in the world. Sometimes I think maybe I should stop being such an insatiable newshound (mouse?), wouldn't I be happier if I just kept my head buried in the sand, blissfully oblivious to the daily parade of horrors around the world? I have a few friends who live like that...it's not that they set out to do this, they are just genuinely not very interested in the daily news. Growing up I always felt different from my friends in this way - long before the Internet I was reading the morning and evening newspapers. Part of this was an indescribable feeling of social responsibility to know what was going on in my own country under Apartheid. I knew shit was going on that was hidden or masked in the media. Every Friday I would religiously read the Weekly Mail and Guardian - the so-called leftist publication that attempted to reveal what was going on in the townships and elsewhere. When I would inform my schoolmates that the SA army was murdering people just 30 minutes from our safe, white neighborhoods - they'd look at me as if I was crazy, label me "the liberal" (ha!) and repeat the crap their parents would tell them. In truth, my dad would tell me the same stuff, but I had my older brother B around to educate me about the real truth. For that I will always be grateful.

Anyway, today it occured to me that I needed my own color-coded barometer akin to Rumsfeld's pretty Homeland Security Advisory System - only mine would reflect my level of "pissed off-ness" based on daily events around the world.

Today is an elevated green day. A 49 year-old man and a three year-old child were killed in a missile attack next to a kindergarten in Sderot, near Gaza (the child's mother was critically injured). The attack on Sderot is the first in which one of the hundreds of rudimentary rockets fired by Hamas from the Gaza Strip in the past three years has proved fatal. This came after an attack on Sunday in which Palestinian terrorists dug under an Israeli army post in the Gaza Strip and blew it up, killing a soldier and wounding five others.

Then CNN is now reporting that the American Army Pfc. Keith "Matt" Maupin, held hostage in Iraq since April has been executed. Video released by his murderers show him being shot in the back of the head. In the next two days, five more innocent hostages (three Turks, a Pakistani and another American soldier) held in Iraq will probably be beheaded as no country is willing to give into the demands of these scumbags. (The handover of power from the US to an interim Iraqui government took place today - BFD - like the violence is going to end now!)

The American soldier, Cpl. Wassef Hassoun is a Muslim Arab marine who worked as an Arabic translator. Hassoun's father pleaded from his home in Tripoli, "I ask them for the sake of God, Prophet Muhammad and their children to release my son, and I thank them and they will have a great reward from God." Wake up Mr Hassoun, these bastards are not going to spare your son's life because he is an Arab Muslim! He is an American first. An American-Arab Muslim - no doubt perceived as a traitor to Islam and his people. And with all due respect Mr Hassoun, these guys won't be getting any rewards from God, even if your son is spared...

SM

Executions, Loss and Absurdity

2004-06-23T21:50:00.000-04:00

Tonight I met the son of Julius and Ethel Rosenberg - Robert Meerpohl (he was adopted a few years after their execution). He spoke at Robin's Bookstore about his parents, his traumatic childhood (he was only 3 when his parents were arrested), post 9/11 America (McCarthy-era lessons for Ashcroft's America), and the amazing work he does now as head of The Rosenberg Fund for Children. The fund was established "to provide for the educational and emotional needs of children whose parents have been harassed, injured, lost jobs, or died in the course of their progressive activities and who, therefore, are no longer able to provide fully for their children." This was an eye-opener for me, I niavely believed there were no "political" prisoners in America, or that there would be no kids who would need this kind of assistance in today's America. I bought Meerpohl's book, "An Execution in the Family" and look forward to reading it.

This morning an amazing child passed away. Mattie J.T. Stepanek the young poet whose four volumes of work courageously detailed life and death, love and loss, faith and hope, has lost his own battle with the rare form of muscular dystrophy that had taken his three older siblings lives as well. He was thirteen years old. I have often seen Mattie on TV and marveled at his amazing bravery and optimism despite having to live with his awful muscular disease that kept him confined to a wheelchair, hooked up to oxygen, respirator and trach tube. As someone who was born with a very mild neuro-muscular disorder (Spinal muscular atrophy), I have always identified in some way with Mattie and other kids with muscular diseases. I always think how fortunate I am to have been born with only a very mild atrophy, able to live a normal and productive life save for having had scoliosis and dealing with respiratory challenges. Rest in peace Mattie, you were an inspiration to many. You will not be forgotten. The Muscular Dystrophy Association has established a memorial fund in memory of Mattie.

And now to the absurd. Saudi Arabia promised Wednesday that terrorists in the kingdom will be safe if they surrender within a month -- but after that they will face forceful consequences. "If they give themselves up without force within one month maximum from the date of this speech, we can promise them that they are going to be safe."
Crown Prince Abdullah said all such people would be dealt with fairly, in accordance with Islamic law.

Now that just cracked me up! I laughed out loud - "in accordance with Islamic law!" Last time I checked Islamic law (Sharia) you could be stoned to death for adultery. Sharia calls for punishments such as the severing of limbs, stoning, hanging and flogging, or beating. Countries that do practice Sharia include Saudi Arabia, Pakistan and Malaysia. Saudi Arabia is perhaps the most well known practitioner of strict Islamic law (source). So come on all yea terrorists, turn yourselves in and face the "fair" penalties under Islamic law.

My guess is there won't be a queue of terorists outside the palace...

SM

Off with your head! Part III

2004-06-22T14:57:00.000-04:00

Iraqi insurgents have killed the South Korean civilian they were holding hostage - his beheaded body was found earlier today. The murderers have the audacity to call themselves the Monotheists! How bloody preposterous - thugs commiting atrocities in the name of God.

In another show of moderation, tolerance and humanity so common in Iraq, Saudi Arabia and other Islamic outposts - CNN reports that the dean of law at Mosul University and her husband were found dead Tuesday morning outside their home in the northern Iraqi city of Mosul. The dean was the only woman to hold such a prominent position at the school and voiced moderate opinions, she therefore deserved to die.

What is Bush doing with himself instead of setting out to destroy these militant extremists who are cutting off heads with gay abandon, killing US soldiers and murdering civilians? Let me guess, he's out playing golf! It's time to stop sitting pretty and merely spewing pathetic condemnations every time someone gets beheaded or murdered. It's time to fucking do something! (Sorry mom, I know you don't like my swearing, but I'm just fucking furious!)

SM

Just shoot me

2004-06-20T17:33:00.000-04:00

There is a lot to be said for dying young.

Don't misunderstand me. I am not suicidal or ready to exit this world. Not by a long shot. I love life and living every day. I just don't want to ever be old and helpless.

I spent the afternoon today visiting the Mouse Spouse's 91 year old grandfather at probably one of the nicest Jewish old age homes around. It has manicured lawns, caring staff, decent accommodations, daily activities and entertainment and none of that obscene stench of "decrepitude" you usually encounter in hospitals or old age facilities. However, anyway you dress it up - it is still a place where people go when they are too old or frail to take care of themselves. It is full of people with blank or dazed expressions on their faces, people in wheelchairs or with canulas of oxygen up their noses, and sadly, some forgotten people left alone to die while their children occupy themselves with other things.

As I sat there, listening to the afternoon's entertainment - a young women singing golden oldies to an assembled crowd of ambivelent looking old people, I was filled with a deep sadness. It is impossible not to imagine oneself living in such a place. I pictured myself, 3 foot tall, frail and helpless sitting in a wheelchair listening to some young woman singing Madonna songs...It was too painful to think about, and I could tell the same thoughts were running across the minds of the other visitors there to celebrate father's day with their aging parents/siblings/family. By the looks on their faces, they too were thinking, just shoot me. I don't want to ever end up here.

SM

Sublime to Horrific

2004-06-18T23:35:00.000-04:00

Let's start with the sublime. Last night I trekked off to the Free Library to hear Helen Fielding - author of Bridget Jones's Diary - speak. It was great - she is just as witty as you'd expect. Although she denies vehemently that she is Bridget Jones, it was clear to me that she IS indeed her character - it shone through in her humor and funny stories. I met my new friend Veronica at the talk - the first women I've met through Craigslist. What a pleasant surprise - a lovely, intelligent woman. After the library we headed to the Rose Tatoo Cafe for drinks and dinner. We hucked like old friends and had much to talk about. Cool.

And now to the horrific. I had just sat through 5 hours of meetings this morning (no, that was not horrific - tiring and tedious perhaps...) when I came back to my computer and invariably clicked home to see if I had any new Yahoo mail. I caught sight of the news headlines to read that Paul Johnson (of NJ), the Lockhead Martin guy kidnapped in Saudi Arabia, had been beheaded. First Berg, now Johnson. I just went cold. I thought of his family. I thought of how terrifying it must be to know you are about to be beheaded...But mostly I thought of what fucking bastards, scum, these murderers are. How does one human being do this to another (Warning: clicking on "this" will take you to the horrific pictures of a beheaded Johnson. Sometimes I believe we need to see horror to really understand who we are dealing with and how urgent it is to wipe these vermin off the face of the earth.) I'm sick of Bush's cowardice, I'm sick of the world condemning these terrorists but doing fuck all against them. I'm sick of the hypocrisy! Fifteen of the nineteen hijackers on 9/11 were Saudis and Saudi money has always funded Al Qaeda. And yet America still calls Saudi Arabia "our friends"? Don't you find it rather convenient that the Saudis claim to have killed Al Qaeda chief (and murderer of Johnson) in Saudi Arabia Abdul Aziz al-Muqrin as he was dumping the body? Hmm, sounds just a wee bit suspect to me!

Michael Moore is on Letterman tonite - I'm going to stay up and check it out. I'm not too fond of Moore the person, but I do have great respect for his work. I thought Bowling for Columbine was fascinating, and I can't wait to see Fahrenheit 9/11 in which, among other things, reveals the connections between Saudi Arabia and terrorism - and the dubious relationship between Saudi Arabia and the Bush administration. I dig the movie poster of Bush and Moore holding hands like great pals of yore! Brilliant.

SM

Fielding, Friends and Funerals...

2004-06-17T00:00:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow night Helen Fielding, author of Bridget Jones's Diary is speaking at the Free Library. I absolutely loved that book, it was hilarious from cover to cover, and I'm pretty excited to have the opportunity to meet Helen and hear about her new book. This is one of the reasons I love being in the USA - in Israel or South Africa I never had the opportunity of meeting "famous" people. Well not exactly true. I guess there aren't many people who can say they've seen Nelson Mandela in person (I was at his graduation at my alma mater, The University of the Witwatersrand) - can't get much more famous than that!

Not only will I be meeting Helen, but I am also hooking up with one of the women friends I've met through my ad on Craigslist. She sounds lovely and interesting, and it should be a cool experience meeting someone new!

Today I recieved sad news that my friend lost her father to pancreatic cancer. He was only 61, funeral was today in NJ. My friends, his daughter, live in Israel where I met them both although they are both American. My heart goes out to my friend, one of my deepest anxieties/fears is losing my own dad. I mean I worry about both my parents, but my dad is 13 years older than my mom so I naturally worry more about him. He turned 80 in March. It's hard to live so far away from my family, I constantly worry about something happening there and having to fly out suddenly. Joburg is so frigging far (16-22 hour flight), it was so much easier when I lived in Israel (9 hour direct flight). I'm hoping to go home (SA will always be home) with the mouse spouse in January.... I love seeing my friends and fam, but it's such an intense, unnatural thing, to see people you love more than life itself for 2 weeks and then to not see them again for a year or two. God it sucks.

Anyway, back to my friend, I was contemplating making a sympathy call, but they are in North NJ and there is no train from Philly, and I'm not a long distance driver...So I thought until I figure that out, I should express my sympathy somehow (seems to early to call...they are probably still in shock etc) - and in America, that is done primarily via a condolence basket. No such thing exists in Israel or SA - I only discovered this phenomenon when the mouse spouse's grandmom passed away a few months back. All these baskets of food and goodies arrived at the house -- the house was positively drowning in cookies, cakes and candy. In South Africa food is also a part of a shiva house - but people tend to bring meals not send snack baskets... I found the whole practice rather weird. Similarly, at the shiva I was at, all the mourners ate a big dinner BEFORE prayers. Another major departure. Practices may differ globally, but one thing is true everywhere in Jewish house's of mourning: Death and Food are inextricably linked!

When in America, do as the Americans do. I sent a sympathy basket.

SM

Weekend Walking...barefoot?

2004-06-13T22:14:00.000-04:00

Phew, what a busy weekend, it's 10pm Sunday and I'm ready to hit the sheets. Yesterday me and the Mouse Spouse went to Rittenhouse Square to browse at Barnes and Noble, and then we walked 18 blocks to the Ritz Cinemas to see Super Size Me - a really interesting and disturbing documentary on the causes of obesity in America. The movie focused on the fast food industry with the director/writer undertaking a fascinating experiment: eat McDonalds for 3 meals a day for 30 days straight. The results were horrific - significant sclerosis of the liver, huge increase in cholestral levels, impaired energy and sexual function, and gain of 25 pounds! Other disturbing facts quoted include the estimate that 60% of kids born post 2000 will have diabetes - and a dimunition of their lifespan by 17-27 years! A really thought-provoking movie, and one that every American should be forced to watch! (I have to confess however, after the movie I had a craving for a Happy Meal...:-))

Today I went with the Mouse Spouse's sister and niece to Willow Grove shopping mall -- in the two years I've been in Philly, I have been to ONE mall, ONCE - so this was somewhat of a novelty. Unlike most Americans and most women, I hate malls, and don't particularly enjoy shopping. Perhaps this is because I seldom leave a mall laden with exciting purchases! Being a super petite, really skinny (read Freak in America) woman, finding attractive clothes is always a challenge, finding shoes is nothing short of a fucking tribulation! Clothes shopping is predominantly undertaken in kids' clothing stores - Limited Too, Kid's Gap, etc...but of late I find myself almost fitting into a size zero petite. Indeed, today I was thrilled to fit into a size zero slim fit jeans at The Gap. V-I-C-T-O-R-Y!! Sophisticated Petite is also a store I often find clothes that almost fit (ie. need some tailoring).

But shoes, alas, is a hideous nightmare! I am saddled with size 1 1/2 feet - forever sentenced to shop in kids' stores only! Yes, American kids are pretty sophisticated these days, but I think more 12 year olds now wear adult shoes...so I'm stuck with a pretty poor selection. Sometimes, when I pass adult shoes stores, I get this painful pang...what must it be like to be able to choose any shoes your heart desires? I guess I'll never know... **sigh**

SM